Justin Bieber and Hailey Bieber's marriage may have seemed picture-perfect from the start, but it seems they didn't exactly have a honeymoon period.
In an interview with GQ, the pop star said he was walking "on eggshells" a lot.
"The first year of marriage was really tough because there was a lot, going back to the trauma stuff. There was just lack of trust," he said. "There was all these things that you don't want to admit to the person that you're with, because it's scary. You don't want to scare them off by saying, 'I'm scared.'"
Justin, 27, said he admits that he felt "compelled" to get married and have kids.
"I just felt like that was my calling. Just to get married and have babies and do that whole thing," he said.
Over time, Justin began realizing he had a true partner in Hailey, whom he married in the fall of 2019.
"We're just creating these moments for us as a couple, as a family, that we're building these memories," he said. "And it's beautiful that we have that to look forward to. Before, I didn't have that to look forward to in my life. My home life was unstable. I didn't have a significant other. I didn't have someone to love. I didn't have someone to pour into. But now I have that."
And, he and Hailey plan to bring little Biebers into the world "eventually," but "not this second," he says.
In the GQ interview, the "Justice" singer also touched on his faith, indicating it helped him get through his well-documented struggles and run-ins with the law.
"He is grace. I came to a place where I just was like, 'God, if you're real, I need you to help me, because I can't do this on my own. Like, I'm struggling so hard. Every decision I make is out of my own selfish ego,'" he said. "So I'm just like, 'What is it that you want from me? You put all these desires in my heart for me to sing and perform and to make music – where are these coming from? Why is this in my heart? What's the point? What is the point of everything? What is the point of me being on this planet?'"
He continued, "I just kept trusting what He said and what He's saying to me. And I just believe He speaks to me. It's not audible. I don't hear His audible voice. I don't know if people do. I know people have said it, and in the Bible it talks about that, but I just never heard it. It's more like nudges: Don't do this. Or: Set these boundaries."
He does just that now. He won't work past a certain time and he has a routine.
"It's just rewarding to be all that you were designed to be," he said. "And I believe that, at this point in my life, I'm right where I'm supposed to be, doing what I believe that God wants me to do. And there's nothing more fulfilling."
And, he's got a good woman by his side.