Sarah Jessica Parker runs a tight ship when it comes to her house. A very tight ship.

On Oct. 12, The New York Post published a report presumably based on emails that SJP sent to someone who works for her. The emails were obtained by Michelle Collins, who read them aloud as part of her "Magic Mich" comedy show.

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In one message that the comedian claims was written by the "Sex and the City" star, SJP instructed her staffers to refile soap dispensers in an extremely precise way -- staffers were allegedly told to refill a 1.75-ounce container of Vaseline with a small spoon or knife for her children's use.

She said that the refill jar should not be too big (so as to not clutter the house) and that the cutlery used to handle the Vaseline must be hand washed using a paper towel followed by a cycle in the dishwasher, The Post said.

She also supposedly requested that a bottle of Neutrogena soap be continually replenished for her 14-year-old son in his personal shower.

Staffers were told to check the product usage each day and only refill when a product has run out.

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Another email reportedly described how eye drops should be administered to the actress' three children.

The comedian read another email centered on a grocery shopping trip for the family's Taco Tuesday dinner. The instructions included the phrase, "Whatever meat goes in tacos," Michelle said, according to Page Six.

The newspaper reached out to SJP's rep, who simply said, "We have no idea who Michelle Collins is."