"The Real Housewives of New York" alum Jill Zarin was devastated when her husband, Bobby, passed earlier this year, but she didn't shed a tear at his funeral.
Initially, the reality TV star couldn't understand why she seemed less emotional than others, but she soon realized that she'd essentially cried all her tears.
"I didn't cry at the funeral," she told the New York Post. "I thought there was something wrong with me. I'm like, 'Why am I the only one not crying and everybody's crying' because I had already mourned, weeks before, months before, a year ago."
That's not to say that Bobby's long cancer battle didn't affect her.
"Nobody cried more than me in the hospital, literally. It's crazy," she said. "But now, Bobby would want me to move on."
Asked how she's doing now, two months after Bobby's death, she told Page Six that she's "not good."
"I put on good makeup, I have good days and bad days," she said. "Anything can trigger me to cry and then I'm fine, so it's just a process."
Bobby was first diagnosed with thyroid cancer in June 2009. In 2013, the cancer spread to his lungs. He was diagnosed with brain cancer in 2016.
Since his death, Jill has received support from friends and family, but still, she says, "It doesn't fill the hole."