Chris Pizzello / Invision/AP 1 / 3
Chris Pizzello / Invision/AP 1 / 3

By Dana Flax

I have to admit I was never a follower of the cultish tribe of Robert Pattinson -- gasp! Yeah, he's dark (yet pale) and broody, abs cut from marble, blah blah blah. Couldn't be bothered! That is, until this interview with OK!, in which he showcased a fair amount of trademark British humor and humility -- also known as the key to my heart. Not to mention he's got some utterly ridiculous stories about crazy fans ("A mother recently gave me her baby and asked me: 'Can you please bite her head?'") that'll be great cocktail party fodder for when he hauls his receding hairline back to the UK, marries some lovely Brit gal with horsey teeth and they entertain tons of, like, normal people friends. Anyway, check out what he has to say about playing Edward, his co-star Kristen Stewart and, a-duh, what he looks for in a girlfriend.

OK!: What is the hardest part of being ["Twilight" vampire heartthrob] Edward Cullen?

Robby Poo: "Probably trying to be scary when you're supposed to be looking pretty at the same time."

Well, Rob, studies do show that men have difficulty multi-tasking, but in this case, I'm gonna say you've got those two qualities on lock. In other words, don't worry your pretty little pallid head about it.

OK!: Did you have any idea what you were in store for when you signed up for Twilight?

Robby Poo: "No way. I read the script and I barely even knew that they were books too. The only reason I went to the audition was to see Kristen, because I'd just seen 'Into The Wild.'"

Aw, how cute -- a crush on Kristen Stewart! But is he just toying with our tabloid-addled emotions? Really, really hope he's joking! *Sigh* Those Brits are just so darned esoteric.

OK!: Have you had any weird fan experiences?

Robby Poo: "One time there were these four girls, in Chicago, I think, and they had all scratched their necks until they bled and then when they came up to me they had these bleeding scabs. It was gross!"

Last time I checked, that's not just weird and gross, that's wildly delusional. There's your motivation for "scary," Rob.

OK!: What do you look for in a lady?

Robby Poo: "I like people being forward. Gosh, I don't know. I like strong people, chiselled abs … I don't know, I take what I can get!"

Um, is he saying he's into Mel B? Oh. Wait. He's been kind of evasive isn't he? Think he's gay? Rumors! Buzz buzz buzz.

OK!: If you could live forever, like Edward Cullen, what would you do?

Robby Poo: "Probably learn to speak French. Or I might spend three weeks straight with no sleep learning the piano. You'd get really good at stuff because you would have time to do everything."

Swoon! Really, from anyone else that attractive I'd expect some comment about banging every chick you see because your wicked hotness is conveniently frozen in time. But Robert Pattinson is cultured, people -- how charming!

You've sold me, Rob. I'm a fan. Now just let me find a proverbial baby whose head you can bite, so to speak.


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