On Dec. 10, it will mark the one-year anniversary of the death of Kristin Cavallari's brother Michael. The reality TV star admits that the looming date is "opening all the wounds again."
Kristin spoke with E! News about the tragedy and how she's coping with it.
"Its been tough, its been a roller coaster, especially now with the one-year anniversary coming up, its sort of opening all the wounds again," she said. "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard."
Michael died of exposure to elements, ie. hypothermia, in a remote part of southeastern Utah. Authorities searched for Michael for two weeks after his Honda Civic was found abandoned off the I-70 freeway in Grand County.
"My heart is in a million pieces," The "Hills" star said at the time.
On the sad anniversary, Kristin said she will be with her family, including her husband Jay Cutler
"I'm going to be with my family on the actual day, which hopefully will help," she said. "Talking about it is probably the most important thing so I'm lucky I have a great support system with my immediate family, with Jay and with my parents as well."
Sadly, this isn't exactly unchartered waters for her mother.
"My mom actually lost her brother when she was just a little bit older than me, so not only does she understand what I'm going through because it's her son, but she also lost her brother," Kristin said. "So she's been really great for me to lean and go to as someone who truly understands what I'm going through as well."
But, sadness won't sweep over the mom of three and her family for long. Kristin and Jay's daughter Saylor will celebrate her first birthday on Nov. 23.
"With all three of my kids, we've never done big, elaborate birthdays so we're keeping it small," she said. "My dad will be in town for Thanksgiving so it works out, luckily, that he'll be here for her birthday as well. I'm going to make her cupcakes—I'm actually going to make cupcakes from my cookbook that I'm working on: vanilla cupcakes with chocolate frosting. I'll put a little candle on it, get her a few presents and call it a day."