Life apparently never got easier for Kevin McCallister.
In a bizarre and brilliant new web series for :DRYVRS, Macaulay Culkin reprises his legendary "Home Alone" character, and, to put it lightly, he's still more than a little affected by the events of 1990 when he was accidentally left alone in his Chicago house as his family jetted off to Paris.
The web series shows the actor -- playing the role of Kevin -- looking finicky as he picks up someone for a ride, ala Uber or Lyft. During the drive, a phone call comes from "Kevin's" mother, to which he sends to voicemail. The ride companion, who is now driving because "Kevin" doesn't know how to drive, says that the call blocking was "ice cold."
"You think that's ice cold?" he asks. "How about this, it's Christmas time… and your whole family goes on vacation, your whole family goes on vacation and they forget their 8-year-old f------ son, all by yourself in the house for a week."
In a curse-filled rant, "Kevin" continues explaining that fateful week.
"I had to fend off my house from two psychopath home invaders," he says, staring out the car window. "I was just a kid. I mean, I still have nightmares about this bald weirdo dude chasing me around talking like Yosemite Sam. 'I'm going to pull your fingernails out. I'm going to get you you little scamp!' They don't even curse, calling me 'louse' and s—- like that."
His house, "Kevin" said, was a wreck and he was unable to "eat a slice of pizza without having to go to war," a clear reference to one of the best scenes in the classic film.
He called himself the "cutest" 8-year-old in the universe. He went onto say his mother didn't care about his wellbeing because was "too busy being a groupie to a polka band or something."
During the ride, a carjacker attempts to ruin the day until Kevin hones the skills he learned as an 8-year-old, to thwart the attempt and torture the criminal.
Here's hoping things get better for you, Kevin.