John Cusack turns 43 on June 28. For your birthday, we didn't want to buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, brought, or processed, so we're just going to stick with a simple greeting. Happy birthday, John!
Kellie Pickler turns 23 on June 28. Wishing you didn't take the lyrics "a little bit country, a little bit rock and roll" so literally. I mean, Kid Rock? Seriously?
Gary Busey turns 65 on June 29. We can't tell if we wish for more or less of "Street Lessons With Uncle Gary." Either way, keep entertaining us because no one else does it quite like you.
Mike Tyson turns 43 on June 30. Wishing you had a part in all of our hangovers. Hope your birthday is a KO, Mike!
Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps turns 24 on June 30. Good luck at the ESPYs. We have no doubt you'll doggie paddle back to the top again. I mean celebrities make comebacks all the time.
Pamela Anderson turns 42 on July 1. Pammy, it might be time to put on more clothes. The "Baywatch" days were a long, long, long time ago. Don't worry, at least you'll always be a "V.I.P."
Missy Elliot turns 38 on July 1. Go ahead and "Lose Control," Missy. It's your birthday and you deserve to have some fun!
Lindsay Lohan turns 23 on July 2. Hope your birthday fun is more real than your tan!
Ashley Tisdale turns 24 on July 2. Hoping your new album becomes our "Guilty Pleasure." Happy birthday, Ashley!
Larry David turns 62 on July 2. Hope you love the gift we got you. We have a hunch you won't be able to "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
Tom Cruise turns 47 on July 3. But what does that make him in alien space-years?