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You play one sparkly, dreamboat-y vampire and suddenly you're risking life and limb just by walking down the street. Such is the current lot of Robert Pattinson, who experienced the full force of "Twilight" mania as he began shooting his new movie, "Remember Me," in New York on Monday. Scenes were interrupted by fans calling out his name, and when he made a beeline to his trailer, the Edward-adoring throngs hit hysteria mode, complete with crying, screaming, rose-tossing, gasping and repeated exclamations of "Oh my God!" One brazen and personal space-violating gal even managed to make a successful grab for the actor's neck. She, thankfully, didn't bare any fangs, and Rob's burly bodyguards quickly peeled her off (see the video here -- and then breathe a sigh of relief that you're not famous). "You could tell it was all starting to get to him, especially the hecklers," a set source tells OK! magazine. "He's been as friendly as possible to everyone ... but after all the commotion, he needed to take a break for some personal time." Pattinson apparently collected his thoughts by doing some deep breathing with his head between his legs, which is a fairly restrained response, because we would have been demanding tranquilizer darts.

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Meanwhile, Alec Baldwin admits he contemplated ending it all after the infamous voicemail incident in April 2007, when a message of him berating then-11-year-old daughter Ireland as a "rude, thoughtless little pig" was leaked to the press. But one thing kept him from the brink of self-destruction: He didn't want to give ex-wife Kim Basinger the satisfaction. "[I was] very serious I spoke to a lot of professionals, who helped me," the "30 Rock" star reveals to Playboy. "If I committed suicide, they [Basingers team] would have considered that a victory. Destroying me was their avowed goal."

Has Paris Hilton found someone who loves attention as much as she does? The Chicago Sun-Times says her recent rumored conquest, Cristiano Ronaldo, finds it "a hoot" that his photo is now "all over the Internet every day." But it seems the Portuguese soccer star, who recently signed a record-setting $131 million contract with Real Madrid, doesn't have a lot of respect for the butt-flashing blonde responsible for his higher profile. The paper quotes him as telling a pal, "It took one night with a rich woman who's famous for nothing" to turn him into a paparazzi fave. Ouch. True, but ouch. Paris, for her part, is dusting off her coy act when it comes to addressing the hookup reports. "Cristiano and I are good friends," she demurs to the London Daily Mirror. "Very good friends." Anything else? "He's a very nice guy -- and an incredible athlete," she adds. "We're getting to know each other and I have to leave it at that."

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When Lindsay Lohan eventually writes her tell-all, her latest doings should provide some solid filler material. First, $400,000 worth of jewels went missing from her recent Elle photo shoot. Then, the attention-addicted starlet posted a topless picture on Twitter because, as she put it, "I'm THAT bored." (Don't worry -- she makes like Brooke Shields in "The Blue Lagoon" and uses her fake hair to cover the important bits). The photo was taken while she was filming those laughably bad "click-flash-wow" Fornarina commercials, which, sadly, were one of the better gigs she's landed in recent months. Not that Lindsay is letting her lack of employment ruin her good time. The New York Post says she was out every night last weekend (sans capricious honey Samantha Ronson) and made a particularly worrying stop on Saturday at Manhattan hot spot The Box (insert your own double-entendre here). "She came in at 4:30 a.m. and went to a VIP room, where she immediately climbed a stripper pole," alleges a spy. "A little later, she walked up to a tall, handsome guy and asked him a question. When he said he didn't know the answer, she lost it and started yelling and cursing and flying around the room. She was not acting normal."

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