Warning: Severe eyeball rolling may occur while reading this item. Please take appropriate safety measures. Ready?
OK! (via Hollywood Life) takes the early lead for Dubious Item of the Year honors by claiming Katy Perry, who can probably still smell eau de Russell Brand around her house, is being set up with God-praising NFL superstar Tim Tebow.
Supposedly playing Cupid for this would-be love connection: the popster's evangelical Christian parents, Keith and Mary Hudson, who are currently under fire after reportedly making controversial remarks during a recent church appearance.
"[Katy's] mentioned on more than one occasion how much she likes Tim," asserts a source, seemingly with a straight face. "Katy's mom firmly believes the best cure for heartache is to quickly fall in love again. … In her mind, Tebow is the perfect guy for her daughter. He's handsome, charming, intelligent and, above all, a good Christian."
(Responds every other Christian mother with an eligible daughter: Take a number, Mrs. Hudson.)
According to the mag, Perry's parents have invited the no-nookie-without-marriage-espousing Denver Broncos quarterback to speak at their church (and meet their daughter at the same time), an offer he'd be wise to take a pass on given her father's apparent anti-Semitic statements.
When we contacted the soon-to-be ex Mrs. Brand's rep for comment on whether she would soon be Tebowing, she told us, "I do not comment on Katy's personal life."
And just so we end this item on the same hysterical note on which it began, NFL.com has mocked up an image of what a potential offspring of Katy and Tim might look like. Enjoy.
RELATED ON WONDERWALL: