Oh, Janice Dickinson, you sexy, saucy minx, you. When you're not tempting us with your overstuffed-sausage pout and alluring, beef jerky-ish skin, you're sharing tales of adventure guaranteed to whet our appetite for more.
Like this story of how you lost a couple of false teeth during lunch with a pal at a Hamptons eatery.
"I was so excited talking to [my friend] that I put my teeth in my napkin, and then I couldn't find them! Did they fall into the soup? These things are so expensive they could feed a small village," recalls the "world's first supermodel"-turned-"Celebrity Rehab" participant to the New York Post. "I was like Lucille Ball on crack."
According to Janice, she began "diving under the table like a porpoise," and soon "the entire restaurant" pitched in to help her look.
"I was under the table, and it was sticky," says Dickinson, using a turn of phrase we hope never to hear uttered again. "It was the most incredulous moment that you'd never want to happen,"
Luckily, the missing choppers turned up, and she raced to the bathroom to wash them off and shove them back in. She returned to the dining room with a million-dollar smile on her ever-changing face.
"Age sucks," laughs the 56-year-old former "America's Next Top Model" judge. "And thank God my boyfriend wasn't there."
Notes Dickinson, who recently hooked up with a 32-year-old, "OMG, no one wants a snaggletooth."
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