By Alex Blagg
In a recent interview with E! Online, "High School Musical" starlet Vanessa Hudgens says she would be willing to get naked in a movie "when the time is right, if it's an amazing movie that I'm really passionate about." In the interest of more swiftly facilitating this inevitable scenario, here are a few quick film ideas I had off the top of my head to help Vanessa just go ahead and get this whole bad idea out of the way:
1. "The Time Is Right" -- A coming-of-age tale about a small-town girl who just turned 18 and spends the whole summer falling in love with a strange new loner boy played by Hudgens' real-life love Zac Efron, who she will have naked onscreen sex with. This film will gross approximately 75 bajillion dollars.
2. "Amazing Movie" -- A hilarious slapstick comedy in which the Wayans Brothers parody movies that are actually good, with one super-wacky gag scene involving a totally unnecessary and gratuitous shot of Hudgens' nudie bits.
3. "The Passion of the Tween Starlet" -- From the people who brought you "I Know Who Killed Me" and whatever that new movie is called in which Jessica Biel plays a stripper, comes this tale of a once-squeaky-clean starlet's misguided attempt to garner crossover acting cred by taking her shirt off in a hopelessly doomed (and subsequently forgotten) box office bomb that she naively thinks will be an "indie hit."
Since there are literally tens of people who haven't yet mastered the concept of the Internet search and therefore do not know what Hudgens looks like naked, may we modestly urge Hollywood to get cracking on these projects immediately.