By Melissa Hunter
Considering Tracy Morgan already discusses impregnating women, inducing labor, and the details of his anatomy unprovoked on Twitter, getting shmamazing sound bites from an interview shouldn't be too difficult.
And if that interviewer happens to be Playboy, then it's bound to be an interview we can barely pull quotes from without push-back from the FCC. But hey, you might actually be able to claim that you purchased Playboy to read the articles this time around.
On committing crimes for Tina Fey (who wouldn't?):
"Tina is my baby girl. She's my sister from another mother of a different color. I'd do 25 to life for her. She is down like four flat tires."
On Lorne Michaels choosing him:
"I remember one time Lorne took me to his office [while on 'SNL'], and he said, 'Tracy, you are here not because you're black. You're here because you're f---ing funny, man.' Changed my whole perspective ... They say every Jewish man is supposed to love one black motherf---er in this life. I'm glad Lorne Michaels chose me."
On combining his two passions -- riding bikes and breaking water:
"These days I'm into bike riding and breaking water. I like breaking women's water. If you're pregnant and you need your water broken, you need your labor induced, give me a call and I'll ride my bike over and take care of it."
On always trying to outpace Tracy Jordan's crazy:
"Tracy Morgan is much more interesting and far-out than Tracy Jordan could ever be."
On life inspiring art (or his uncle Fat Mike's life):
"That [Tracy Jordan running through traffic in his underwear] was based on my uncle Fat Mike. He ran down the street in his underwear with a light saber — several times. He was way crazy. He was Tracy Jordan to the fifth power."
And of course, uncle Fat Mike is the name Tracy gives himself when he's feeling extra-zany.
His new autobiography "I Am the New Black" just came out, and if this interview is any indication of the read, I'm leaving work immediately to purchase it.