Schlub-Hopping: Call us pessimists, but we predict it won't be long before Paris Hilton and Doug Reinhardt's romance ends up on the scrap heap. Despite their many professions of ardor, the PDA-disposed lovebirds are completely out of sync, clothing-wise, which doesn't inspire a lot of confidence, longevity-wise. On a recent night out, Paris got all dolled up (literally -- her bedroom floor must be littered with scalped Malibu Barbies) in a sequined micro-miniskirt and a spring-loaded push-up bra accented with some satin, lace and fishing net. In this nothing-left-to-the-imagination number, she's ready for wherever the evening takes her, whether it's shaking her booty at a club from her usual tabletop perch or doing some undercover work for the vice squad. Doug, on the other hand, is ill-prepared for either of these scenarios. Instead, his backward baseball cap, slouchy jeans, half-zip and sneakers are a clear indication that his big plans for the night involve watching football with his frat brothers while noshing on pizza and sucking the keg dry.