Brangelini Surprise: In cocktail shaker, combine two parts perfect DNA with seven parts babies (add a few more for good measure). Carefully and deliberately add in equal parts high-profile charity donations and extremely lavish spending. Shake well with every scandal you can contrive and pour into a crystal flute. Add a few drops of fake Jennifer Aniston tears to taste. Garnish with an "eye witness report." Sell the swill to a tabloid reporter.