Broadimage / REX / Shutterstock / Rex USA 1 / 9
Broadimage / REX / Shutterstock / Rex USA 1 / 9

Gavin Rossdale is speaking out as never before about his shocking split from Gwen Stefani.

February will mark two years since the Bush frontman and the No Doubt singer and fashion designer's marriage privately imploded. Six months after that, the world learned that their 20-year relationship was over for good as they filed divorce papers.

Gwen's heartbreak dominated headlines for the next year as she released songs about their sad breakup and healing new romance with Blake Shelton. Widespread reports accused Gavin, who stayed mum, of having cheated on his wife with a family nanny.

Now Gavin is revealing that their divorce "was completely opposite to what I wanted. Really not..." he told The Sun's Fabulous magazine in its Jan. 22 issue.

"But here we are," he added. "Apart from death, I think divorce is one of the hardest, most painful things to go through."

Gavin's only talking about the demise of his marriage because he's promoting his latest gig -- he's a judge on Britain's version of "The Voice."

He said the blowup of his marriage "was shocking for everyone. For me, it was about being solid [for our three sons: Kingston, 10, Zuma, 8, and Apollo, 2], and silent but respectful of Gwen."

"That's what I'll be forever," he added. "Those days were the worst days ever. It's all a bit of a blur."

According to The Sun's Fabulous, Gavin, 51, no longer employs a nanny when he has the boys (he and Gwen, 47, share joint custody). Though he did not directly address reports that the marriage ended after Gwen discovered he'd been unfaithful with one of their former employees, he did express regret.

Asked if he wishes he'd behaved differently, Gavin responded, "I mean, obviously. I know we all wish that, but we can't, so I have to deal with reality. You can't not have regrets and be human at the same time."

"There are lots of scenarios [I'd like to change]," he added. "I'd like to have had 10 No.1s in England, but unfortunately I can't rewrite my career."

In terms of Gwen, he explained, "We had 20 years together and that in itself is pretty incredible. It's a lifetime. I still think she's incredible. It was a lovely 20 years and we have three amazing children. There were a lot of positives, and with time they'll become more and more obvious."

Gavin also spoke at length about his boys as well as daughter Daisy, 27, a London-based model and actress. He credits his love for and from all of his kids as what got him through his side of the divorce ordeal. "The one thing -- the only good thing, because everything else is not good -- is we care about the children and it's about them," he said of Gwen and their boys. "So we do everything to make this life change as seamless as possible."

His older sons, he explains, want him to find love again. Though Gavin insists he's not dating ("I've so much going on, that's not a factor right now," he told Fabulous), his boys would like him to.

"They want me to get a girlfriend and examine me if a name pops up on a text," he said. "I think Kingston is going to be in the CID [Britain's Criminal Investigation Department] when he grows up. They obviously see a complete set-up with their other home [which Gwen now shares with Blake], and it's really busy [with] all the family."

Gavin says after moving out, one of his challenges as a divorced dad was that he "had to go and make a home from scratch that could compare to the great one they already had." Though he feels his is lacking, he tries.

"When they come to me -- unlucky, it's just me! I always feel a bit like, 'Sorry about that.'" Gavin said. "So we have a lot of play dates and the [other] parents come 'round and have big dinners."

He makes it clear that he and Gwen are on the same page when it comes to co-parenting, sharing their schedules -- she too, of course, has renewed her fame as a coach on the U.S. version of "The Voice" -- and are doing their best to navigate life as exes.

"You have to be really adaptable and helpful" he said, "to co-parent."