Evidence suggests a popular female broadcast personality is guilty of improper relations with her pet dog (Canis Lupus Familiaris). Let's interrogate our suspects, shall we?
Exhibit A: Rosie O'Donnell — Rosie stirred up controversy earlier this year by implying that people should pass off their pets as service dogs on flights. Actual disabled passengers declare, "Bite me!"
Exhibit B: Rachel Ray — The perky pooch lover just launched an all-natural premium line of dog food called Nutrish, complete with treats named after her own pup, Isaboo. Allegations of 30-minute meal leftovers as main ingredient abound.
Exhibit C: Elisabeth Hasselbeck — This Sarah Palin supporter has also been called a "pitbull in lipstick."
Exhibit D: Oprah — Three of the daytime diva's beloved dogs have passed away within the last year and a half. Munchausen by Proxy Sydrome suspicions arise.
Exhibit E: Ellen Degeneres — Ellen's dog drama was caught on camera last year when the comedian broke down and wept about a pet adoption gone wrong. Her canine-related emotional issues remain prevalent.
Exhibit F: Barbara Walters — The best-selling author claims her dog Cha-Cha, a Havenese, has barked the words "I love you" to her.
Exhibit G: Kelly Ripa — The petite chatterbox denied the recent National Enquirer story about her marriage being on the rocks, but could she be turning to Fido for affection?
Exhibit H: Martha Stewart — Enjoys making homemade dehydrated chicken snacks for her two dogs. Plus, she hasn't dated much since her release from prison.
We leave it to you to decide the culprit!