Stars Are Nothing Like Us!

THEY BUY THEIR GIRLFRIENDS DESIGNER PUPPIES! Nothing says "I love you" like a $10,000 teacup Pomeranian. Paris Hilton, your fame-grubbing, err, sweetheart boyfriend Doug Reinhardt must be the real thing.

THEY IMPULSE BUY MASERATIS! Even when stars are broke and out of work, they still need to live, okay? Lindsay Lohan bought a Maserati last week and has since gotten it into an accident. Fixing the fender will probably cost more than your mortgage.

THEY CAST THEIR SPOUSES! Bruce Willis reportedly picked new bride Emma Heming's photo out of a casting roundup for his latest film. It's just like going on a dating site, only all the gals are Victoria's Secret models and you can marry your choice.

THEY SPEND MILLIONS ON LAWYERS! To get her career back on track, Britney Spears has spent $2.7 million on lawyers. Just her own way to help the economy — a stimulus package to save the jobs of all the poor entertainment lawyers out there.

THEY BUY $125 MILLION DOLLAR HOUSES! Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are spending $125 million on their new home. Let's be practical here, Mariah. Just buy 125 $1 million houses and form a little town. You could be mayor of your very own Glitterville!

THEY GET MARRIED TWICE! After Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady's wedding in L.A., the unfairly attractive couple decided on a second wedding in Costa Rica. Gisele probably couldn't decide on the Vera Wang or Oscar de la Renta gown, so she bought both.

THEY BUY THEIR FRIENDS' MANSIONS AS GUEST HOUSES! The Cruises are reportedly considering buying a $22 mil mansion from the Beckhams to use as a guest house. But they don't want to go over $15 mil, which is practical. $22 mil would just be excessive.

THEY OPEN FANCY GYMS! Gwyneth Paltrow and her trainer are reportedly opening a gym with a $4500 initiation fee. A real bargain for the everyday woman who's born into Hollywood royalty and married to a rock superstar. Membership is still at one.

THEY DROP $50,000 ON TRAVELING HAIRDRESSERS! Jen Aniston paid $50,000 to have her hairdresser, Chris McMillian, on hand in Europe for a week while she toured promoting "Marley & Me." Oh so THAT'S how her hair stays flat and blonde-ish.

THEY DRINK THEIR OWN PEE! Pete Wentz was captured on video drinking his own pee. This might not be your idea of luxury, but it's a celeb we're talking about. Little known fact: Celebrity pee tastes like Cristal champagne and is 22 percent alcohol.