Jackson Lee / Splash News 1 / 7
Jackson Lee / Splash News 1 / 7

By Melissa Hunter

A report today came out that Jon Gosselin is supposedly writing a book focused on child rearing. Sometimes the jokes just write themselves, don't they?

The father of eight is apparently still in the early stages of his writing (i.e. still sobering up from his weekend in Vegas) and has yet to find a hook but feels his insight into the parenting game must be a key element of the book.

RELATED: Check out the ten most tiresome tabloid stories

A friend of Gosselin said, "Jon is still deciding what exactly the book will be about, but knows he wants to focus on his parenting skills … There is no deal yet or timeline, but the [interest] in Jon from publishers is huge right now, so he's going to strike while the iron is hot."

Jon certainly knows how to strike while the iron is hot, first with a reality show then with bikini-clad famewhores and now with a book deal! You know what he hasn't seemed to be busy with while the iron has been hot? Raising his eight children.

RELATED: Check out this hilarious comic gallery of the Hollywood d-bag hall of fame

Considering the only books Gosselin has presumably read in the past decade are "The Game" and a published hardback catalogue of Ed Hardy's complete collection, we don't know where he will do his research.

We assume you've got a ghost writer already lined up for the task, Jonny, but I'd like to offer my services to you. Here is a mere sampling of chapters that I could write for you on your harrowing journey through fatherhood, fame and flings.

Chapter 1: How to knock up your wife while she's on crazy amounts of fertility drugs

Chapter content: It's real easy.

Chapter 2: How to make your sextuplets into a national news story

Content: It's real easy.

Chapter 3: How to use that national story to land a reality TV deal

Content: It's real easy.

Chapter 4: How to then leverage that reality fame into picking up some chicks at pools in Vegas

Content: It's real easy.

Chapter 5: How to do all of this without coming off as a total d-bag

Content: 0_0

Our services don't come cheap though. We will charge you with leaving the entertainment industry and rearing your children.

Follow Melissa Hunter and Wonderwall on Twitter!