By Paige Ferrari
This just in: Mel Gibson will star alongside Jodie Foster in a movie called "The Beaver." The film focuses on the plight of a depressed man (Gibson) who seeks solace from the cruel machinations of an uncaring universe by slipping his hand into the warm sanctuary of a beaver puppet ...
Admit it: you giggled, even just a bit, didn't you? Perhaps it was the same, schadenfreude-y giggle last emitted when you heard that Jennifer Aniston, long portrayed as Hollywood's sad, barren Miss Havisham, was starring in an artificial insemination comedy called "The Baster." (We hear it involves her barren womb. And Jason Bateman. And maybe a turkey baster?)
Now, on the surface Mel Gibson and Jennifer Aniston may not seem to have much in common. She's a 40-year-old former prime-time TV darling who is perhaps best known as Brad Pitt's starter wife. He is a 52-year-old multi-millionaire, best known for some interesting views on the Jewish people and -- more recently -- impregnating Russian pop singers and jilting his wife of 28 years.
Yet the A-list stars do have something in common. Call it "professional obliviousness."
In response to having their private lives become an easy punchline, both Jen and Mel have nevertheless chosen professional projects that basically guarantee the jokes will just keep coming.
"The Beaver," Mr. Gibson?
"The Baster," Ms. Aniston?
Now you're just doing Conan O'Brien's job for him.
Our suggestion: Perhaps once "The Beaver" and "The Baster" wrap, Jen and Mel should plan on co-starring in a dignity-restoring flick. One that in no way brings their personal lives to mind. Something with a title like, we don't know, "Professional Adults Acting Discreetly"? It's tough to pull a zinger out of that one.
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