Blind Item P.I.

By Saryn Chorney

In this week's Blind Item P.I., we investigate a story on BlindGossip.com about a certain celebrity who is uber-jealous over Ashton Kutcher's Twitter popularity. Apparently the star is incredibly self-absorbed and overly sensitive, claiming that he (or is it she?) deserves the public acclaim and number of followers that Kutcher recently won in his competition with CNN. Let's suss out the top Tweeting suspects, shall we? Also, we freely admit to being jealous of Ashton, so follow Wonderwall on Twitter, too.

Let's lock this one in right off the bat, tweeple: Diddy, alias iamdiddy on Twitter, has over 828K followers at the moment. However, we can't help but wonder if he's still secretly fuming over Ashton's 1.63 MILLION followers. Diddy was obsessed with Kutcher's CNN race, at first trying to beat both entities:

"I believe that in 3 hrs I can get 470,000 FOLLOWERS and beat Ashton & CNN and become the 1st black president of Twitter. YES WE CAN! RT THIS"

Then his tweets became kind of desperate:

"If I beat ashton and cnn to 1,000,000 I will go live while having tantric sex! For 24 hrs straight! Help me! Yes we can!!! Follow @iamdiddy"

Until finally he just gave up and supported @aplusk:

"EMERGENCY! The race is close. it's imperative that a HUMAN BEING and not a news company reaches the 1 million mark first! FOLLOW @Aplusk NOW"

Well, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em … then plot your Twitter revenge!

Demi Moore, better known to the Twitterverse as @mrskutcher, would never try to subterfuge her boy-toy husband, would she? With at least 15 years of prior fan support, one would think the "ageless" actress would have more than 856K followers to show for herself — but no.

The day after her man's race, Demi tweeted, "Boy now I really need to get to work to catch up to hubby! But no worries I have no campaign that will be flooding your way! lol"

Likely story, Mrs. Kutcher. We're on to you.

Blogger from (Twitter)hell, @Perez Hilton, may have over 757K followers, but we suspect only a small fraction of them are truly "fans." Then again, he did just come in second place on Brand Republic's "Most Influential on Twitter" list, beating out Ashton, Demi and many more real celebs. Could he be plotting against @aplusk, but using the Miss California scandal as a red herring? Our sources say "very likely."

On April 17, 2009, the Twitterverse found "the Goddess": @Oprah was born with a simple, "HI TWITTERS. THANK YOU FOR A WARM WELCOME. FEELING REALLY 21st CENTURY."

Awww isn't that sweet … and suspicious? The very day after Ashton won his Twitter race, Oprah just so happens to sign up. Coincidence? We think not.

After a mere two weeks, the TV talk show queen already has 872K followers.

John Mayer, aka @johncmayer, is the unofficial mayor of Twitterverse with 975K followers. The singer and one-time Oscar date was recently given the "Insightful Navel-Gazing" stamp of approval in New York Magazine's "Twitter Approval Matrix." The mag claimed his Tweets were "mildly clever" with "occasional Aniston references." Meanwhile, Ashton was labeled "Insipid" and described as "Pedestrian." That's what we call a high-brow ouch!

OK, Mayer, 'fess up: Are you in Twitter cahoots with @NewYorkMag?

Wow! Ellen DeGeneres, aka @TheEllenShow, has over 1.36 MILLION followers on Twitter. Not only is she kicking the twit out of Oprah, she's nipping at Ashton's tweels, uh, heels. This must be one of those rare instances where the velvet mafia and uber-religious housewives join forces for the greater good of Twitterverse.

John Mayer isn't the only celeb on Twitter who seems to be appealing to the intellectual masses for followers. Jimmy Fallon (@jimmyfallon) is just under the 1M mark at 920K, but with New York Magazine's recent endorsement ("Earnest, enthusiastic"), who knows how quickly he could overtake Kutcher. Always keep an eye on the underdog, tweeple.

On that note, let's consider the curious case of Kim Kardashian (@KimKardashian). The buxom/buttsome beauty has been on Twitter for a mere six weeks, but has already managed to win over 660K followers with "breaking news" like her sunburn and (faux-)blond hair pics. You've been warned, Kutcher.

Did Kim Kardashian's recent Tweet about a dream she had of Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeacrest) help the TV host gain followers? We can't think of any other reason why 891K tweeple would care what "American Idol"'s Prince Smarming has to Tweet, but perhaps we underestimate his celebrity prowess. Ashton, keep your eye on this guy. We can tell by his profile pic that Seacrest is up to no good.

In the past 24 hours alone, Shaquille O'Neal, aka @THE_REAL_SHAQ, has gained over 10K followers, for a current count of 909K. At that rate — and at his size — Ashton should definitely be worried about this NBA star. The actor-rapper-reserve-officer-baller is already a multihyphenate; could the title "Twitter King" be far behind?

She may not have much interesting to Tweet for herself, but Britney Spears (@britneyspears) is still one of the most popular girls in the Twitterverse with over 1.34 MILLION followers. Could her team of handlers secretly be conspiring against Ashton? Anything is possible, y'all.

Barack Obama (@BarackObama) may be the president of the United States of America, but he's not in charge of the Twitterverse. Our nation's leader has 1.098 MILLION followers (John McCain only has 573K), but he's still hundreds of thousands behind Ashton — which does not bode well for 2012. Could this be a conspiracy theory in the making?

Finally, despite his meager 241K followers, we had to include Spencer Pratt (@spencerpratt) in our lineup. As the most desperate, self-absorbed, self-deluded, attention-seeking pseudo-celebrity we know (and we know a lot of 'em), the bad boy of "The Hills" could very well turn out to be the Lex Luthor to Ashton's Superman. His tweet from April 30th is proof enough for us:

"Everyday my hustle grows more powerful! the invisible force!"

Stay tuned for the sequel, good tweeple of Twitteropolis. Spencer is strong, but he is no match for Super@aplusk!

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