By Dana Flax
In this week's Blind Item P.I., we investigate a "creepy dude" who believes that notches on the bedpost just aren't, you know, life-like enough for him. According to the New York Daily News, said dude and his "posse of pals" take pictures of their one-night girlfriends as they sleep and tack them up on a "Wall of Shame" afterward.
So who might the budding Demarchelier be? We've wrangled a few potential celeb creeps; click through to join in on the investigation.
No. 1 culprit Jeremy Piven seems like a no brainer. He's a notorious bachelor, he's got an "Entourage" and presumably a real-life band of leeches, and he apparently likes wearing sheer shirts. Besides, the media has pretty much converged in acknowledging that he's a total creeper. But would a man of his age really adorn his bachelor pad with a wall of Polaroids? Let's move on.
An early progenitor of "creepy-sexy," Jared Leto looks just about as sleazy as a former teen heartthrob can get, yet there's still something about him that the girls love. His personal style is classic Sex Addicts Anonymous, and that's why we think he's a plausible "keeping track of his conquests" candidate. Also, could the members of his band 30 Seconds to Mars serve as his dude pack? All too easily.
A very telling clue in this blind item is that the creep in question carries with him a "posse of pals." Who would generally pick bros over, um, classy ladies? Brody Jenner sure would! The self-professed bro-mantic seems to love chasing skirts almost as much as he loves his dude cronies and soul patches.
Another notorious misogynist is John Mayer, whose tweets about pleasuring himself and similarly high-brow subjects bring him up to the level of code red creepface. But does Mayer have a group of guy friends? He may just be too self-obsessed to have bros with whom to share such Kodak moments.
Another "Entourage" suspect is Adrian Grenier, whose affinity for ladies of a questionable breed is almost as memorable as his pretty blue eyes. We're just not sure if we would categorize him as "creep," although that pink tie ain't helping matters.
Mark Wahlberg, who wants you to know he produces "Entourage," also has a built-in posse with his real-life Wahlberg brothers. And considering that he fancies himself as the basis for the character Vinny Chase, we imagine that over-abundant bravado makes him a likely suspect. "Creepy"? Maybe not, but scary, definitely (especially if you're Andy Samberg).
Former Teen NBC star and current go-to television dance competition host Mario Lopez's inability to keep it in his pants has been well-documented and noted (see here and here). Even though those precious dimples don't really scream "creep," his philandering alone is enough to convince us he might have it in him. Say it ain't so, Slater.
Shabby-looking feller and card-carrying member of the Hollywood League of Recycled Boyfriends, Cisco Adler is yet another logical suspect in the case of the Polaroid posse. Cisco seems to enjoy spreading the love that his nether regions have to offer with as many ladies as possible. It's like charity, girls! Plus, he also possesses a musical posse: his band Shwayze.
Greasiest-of-all, Mischa Barton ex Brandon Davis also comes to mind when perusing the "creep" category of Hollywood dudes. We don't really know what he's up to; he just acts shady, that's all, which is why we could envision him pulling such a stunt. Snapping sneaky sleepy shots of those lady friends of yours? Just admit it already, Greasy Bear.