By Mark Gray
2:44pm PDT, Sep 16, 2023
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For all intents and purposes, it was believed that Jill Duggar Dillard's book would give a stunning and unflattering peek into what life was really like as part of the infamous Duggar family when reality TV cameras were off. The memoir, titled "Counting The Cost," delivered some bombshells, to say the least.
In the book, Jill touches on life in the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) faith, the fallout from her eldest brother's molestation and child pornography scandals, her parents' alleged greed and nearly dying while giving birth to her second child.
Click through to read all the stunning claims the former "Counting On" star is making…
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In "Counting The Cost," Jill Duggar Dillard often brings up the family financial coffer that her dad, Jim Bob Duggar, controlled. As she got older, Jill began realizing that the family was likely making a boatload of money from TLC for "19 Kids and Counting" and its spinoff, "Counting On." She soon wondered why money wasn't filtering down to her. Her husband, Derick Dillard, who was also featured on the show, wondered the same. After asking to be paid for the show, Jim balked and said the show was an opportunity to "share with the world that children are a blessing," she writes in her book. Jill and Derick stood firm, only to be told that Jim had previously paid her eldest sibling, Josh Duggar. "You treat me worse than you treat my pedophile brother," Jill recalled shouting at her father.
After that conversation, Jim Bob and his wife, Michelle Duggar, sat down with the older children to offer them a one-time payment of $80,000. Jill claimed that her siblings were thrilled, but she and Derick were suspicious of her father and later discovered that Jim made $8 million from the reality show.
"After all, 13 years as a filming family had taught me that everything has a cost. Plus, Pops' lifestyle alone told us that the show had generated a lot more than the equivalent of $80,000 each," Jill writes.
She was eventually given $175,000 from her dad.
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Over the years, Jill Duggar Dillard hasn't held back while discussing the fractured relationship she has with her parents, particularly her father, Jim Bob Duggar. In "Counting The Cost," Jill recalls how her father threatened to lower her inheritance if she "continued to attack" him and her mother, Michelle Duggar. The mother of two says the conversation came about after she and husband Derick Dillard received a tax bill for $130,000 of earnings (money they say they never saw). Jill asked her dad for the money that the government claimed they earned. Instead, Jim Bob said, "$20,000 is a one-time offer, take it or leave it, please let me know by Monday night, or the amount will be zero."
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In a somewhat blasphemous move for a member of the reality TV family, Jill Duggar Dillard revealed that she used birth control after the birth of her second child, Samuel, with husband Derick Dillard. The reason: She nearly died in labor. After an emergency C-Section, Jill suffered a uterine rupture that could have killed her.
Samuel also suffered complications. The infant ended up in the NICU after being unresponsive at birth. People magazine reports doctors warned her that Samuel might end up with brain damage because a scan had revealed bleeding on his brain. The brain bleed healed itself.
All these factors played in to Jill's decision to go on birth control, as doctors recommend avoiding pregnancy for at least 18 months after a C-section. Although Jill knew the choice to go on birth control was the correct move for her health, she felt guilty and "kept it a secret from nearly everyone."
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There came a time when Jill Duggar Dillard just wanted to live privatley with her husband, Derick Dillard. Her father and TLC camera crews allegedly had other ideas. Jill writes that on her wedding day — while she was distracted with other matters — her dad had her sign a five-year contract to continue the family's reality TV show. She later found out what she'd signed and was furious with her father.
Film crews, she said, wanted to film her honeymoon, but she stood firm. Jill also said she was required to tell producers about her first pregnancy before she was able to tell her family.
"Everyone said they were excited for us," Jill writes. "I was tempted to remind people that this was my baby we were talking about. But I didn't want to come off as a crabby first-time mom."
Jill further upset producers when she refused to let TLC camera crews film the birth of her first son, Israel. She eventually let her her mom, Michelle Duggar, and sister Jana Duggar film with their cameras. "If I said no [to Jana and Michelle filming], I'd have an even bigger battle on my hands," she writes.
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Jill Duggar Dillard "wanted to die" when reports came out that her eldest brother, Josh Duggar, molested her when she was 11. Jill barely slept or ate. When her now-husband, Derick Dillard, called to check on her, she said she felt "terrible" and wished she "were dead."
Shortly after the story leaked, Josh admitted to cheating on his wife, Anna Duggar. In an August 2015 statement — which he released after his name turned up on infidelity website Ashley Madison — Josh said he was addicted to pornography.
Jill texted to confront her brother: "I wanted to hear directly from him, to know whether there was any truth to the rumors," she writes, adding that Josh never replied.
"Though I love my parents and it made a lot of sense that they would want to protect and care for their child, I couldn't help but think about the lengths that Pops had gone to in order to guard Josh's privacy and keep him from being publicly humiliated. … The feelings grew stronger within me, and by the time I went to bed I felt sick to my core," she writes.
Josh's secrets were not over…
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Although it was a "sobering" thought, Jill Duggar Dillard was "willing" to testify against her brother, Josh Duggar, after he was arrested for child pornography in 2021.
"These charges were way more serious than I'd expected, and I was in shock to hear how terrible the crimes he was accused of were," she writes. "I wanted to know the truth. I wanted the evidence to come out. And I wanted Josh to be put away for a very long time."
Still, she's sad when she thinks about what's become of Josh. "Sad that Josh had become such a monster, sad that even with all of the chances Josh had been given to change, he had thrown them all away and he continued down a dark, terrible road," she writes. "Like the rest of the world, I was finally able to see my eldest brother for what he was — a man unable to control himself, totally detached from the reality of how deeply he was hurting others."
