By Melissa Hunter
BREAKING NEWS: Maxim released its HOT CHICK LIST! While People has the "100 Most Beautiful People," which usually involves men and women, young and old, who are famous but have overcome adversity, have made huge accomplishments in their career, and happen to be extremely good looking, Maxim has a different approach. Basically, it compiles a list of all the girls who have gotten three-quarters naked / held their boobs on the cover of their magazine, though they try to throw in a variety of women (Michelle Obama made it on the list, guys!! Now she can die happy). In no particular order… actually, in order from 10 to 1, here are the girls Maxim's editor is reeeeally hoping to get into bed.
10. Jennifer Love Hewitt — First she was a teenage girl who couldn't act in soapy TV. Then she became a heartthrob who couldn't act in bad horror movies. Now she's a twenty-something girl who can't act in mediocre TV. She got on the covers of some tabloids last year after everyone called her fat. After blasting them (and blasting her abs), she came back into the tabloids this year with her questionable new love interest with Jamie Kennedy. Either way, she found ways to stay in the press for the past decade. I guess ridiculous cleavage gives you a fame lifespan of about 20 years.
9. Jordana Brewster — There are three places that hot models-turned-actresses can always turn to for parts: 1) car racing flicks; 2) soap operas; and, 3) horror movies. Jordana has covered all three of these bases, most recently returning to her "Fast and Furious" role. Stay tuned for her epic genre mash-up movie, "The Fast and Furious Psychopathic Killers of Our Lives."
8. Rihanna — Probably our favorite choice on the list, it's no question that Rihanna's quite the stunner. This year she's gotten through a flurry of controversies with her ex Chris Brown (we're hoping), and come out with even more flair, sass, and 'tude than ever before. Even though nude pictures that recently leaked on the Internet (darned that Internet, always leaking naked photos), we're not worried. I have a feeling Rihanna will rise above, and continue to make hot singles that I'll put on repeat and belt out while driving in rush-hour traffic.
7. Adriana Lima — You've gotta have a Victoria's Secret angel in Maxim's top 10, otherwise it would just be blasphemous… blasphemous, I tells ya! After being a VS model for nine years, hers was the face that launched a million catalog subscriptions from single men (honestly, it's for their "girlfriends", OK?). All right, maybe it was her half-naked body that launched it. Either way, she's a certified hot girl. No argument there.
6. Eliza Dushku — Combine a hot girl with a part where she kicks some evildoer ass and you've basically got the Nielsen ratings on lockdown. The "Dollhouse" star has pretty much had the same butt-kicking hot chick role since her days on "Angel," "Buffy," and "Tru Calling." This role has an expiration date, Eliza, so we'd advise you to sign on for a Victorian-era tragic romance ASAP. There can still be some vampires you can stake, don't worry.
5. Mila Kunis — Back when she played Ashton Kutcher's sassy, Long Island girlfriend on "That 70's Show," she wasn't deemed sexpot status (well maybe she was, but that would've also been "statutory rape" status). But after starring in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall," Mila has gotten a corner on the "hot girl who can make us laugh" market. You mean hot girls can have senses of humor?? Get outta here.
4. Malin Akerman — She's not exactly a household name, but when a girl shows up in a latex costume in a graphic novel flick, fanboys take note. And we all know comic book fanboys are always a step ahead with their hot chick radar. Now that she's starred in "Watchmen," Malin has several movies on the horizon. But how does a rising hot starlet outdo herself after wearing a latex costume? Nipple tassels and body paint?
3. Bar Refaeli — As an Israeli Sports Illustrated swimsuit model who dates Leonardo DiCaprio, she's pretty much the envy of every girl who ever put a "Titanic" poster on the ceiling above her bed (not like I did that or anything…). She's trying to also master the design for the "perfect black bikini" for every kind of female figure. No word on this magical design just yet. Maybe it's not very effective, Bar, to test out the designs on yourself.
2. Megan Fox — Megan Fox is on the hot list? No way. Maxim's list editor is really on the cutting edge of 2008. Jeez. All right, all right, so maybe she's got the looks of a Barbie doll, and the body of… a Barbie doll. She's pretty much the ultimate "box-office-grossing hot girl" that some studio executive dreamed up one night in his sleep, and demanded his assistant to find for him. A few phone calls to some mannequin designers, plastic surgeons, hair stylists and magic genies, and BOOM – Megan Fox.
1. Olivia Wilde — Olivia who now? We're guessing since Maxim put about 93 painfully obvious choices on its list, it had to throw in a spoiler for No. 1. Olivia Wilde stars in the show "House" as a terminally ill doctor who dabbles in drugs and casual sex (well I guess that clinched it)… her gaunt look isn't exactly what we'd dub "No. 1 Hot Girl", but it's not our list. Be on the lookout for Wonderwall's "Hottest Actresses Over the Age of 70" list coming out next week. We don't want to spoil anything, but Betty White is a ringer.