Catt Sadler's professional and personal life was affected when she left E! News after a pay dispute.
The former E! News host said she secretly keeps in touch with some of her old coworkers, but when they hang out, the meetings are carefully coordinated and clandestine.
"I have very good friends there who reach out and I still see and talk to and I adore and love," she told Cosmopolitan. "But they're literally like, 'Uh, maybe we shouldn't meet at Sunset Tower, maybe you should come over,' because they don't want to get in trouble. It's that heightened of a situation."
She has zero regrets about leaving, even recently saying that her life is now "remarkable."
She hinted that a lawsuit could be in the future.
"There's a part of me that wants to fight that frickin' fight for all those women because I can," she said. "But there's another part of me that wants to work and doesn't want to get labeled as somebody out filing a big lawsuit and now it becomes this really ugly thing and half of Hollywood doesn't work with me because I'm that chick that sued E!"
For several months, Catt stayed silent over her controversial departure. Lately, though, she's been telling her side of the story.
"I'm not doing these interviews because I'm on some kind of E! takedown tour. That is not my goal, that is not who I am," she said.
She's now just trying to speak her truth.
"It's been such an emotional time for me," she said. "I want to talk about this, [but] it's also very tricky to talk about some of this stuff too. I just never want to come across … we don't want to [seem] like we're angry. It's OK to be angry too."