Still heartbreaking. Courtney Stodden never got the chance to meet her child after suffering a miscarriage earlier this month, but she calls the baby her "guardian angel."
While still mourning, the reality TV star wrote an open letter to her child, sharing it on Instagram.
"My precious Angel. I never had a chance to hold your tiny hand. Never will I get to kiss your little warm feet. Never will I have the fortune to look into your precious eyes," she wrote. "I wonder what color they would have been? Probably blue like mine -- like your daddy's, too."
She continued, "I'll never get over the painful fact that I won't be able to cradle you in my arms. I'll never be able to rest my cheek on yours and tell you how much I love you."
The letter is gut wrenching and therapeutic.
She continued, "I'll never get over this … losing you. I hope that you know I wanted to give you life … a beautiful life — and desired so much to watch you grow into an incredible human being.
"I know that you're my guardian angel. You'll forever look over me. My tears may never stop falling like drops of rain whenever I think if losing you but I pray to God that you know how much I love you."
Courtney hinted that she had suffered a miscarriage on July 17 with a post that referenced "babies lost in the womb."
Her rep later confirmed the sad news.
"Courtney and her husband, Doug [Hutchison], are at an emotional loss for words and are using this time to grieve with their close family and friends," the statement said. "Please respect their privacy as the couple try to cope with losing their precious baby and seek the support they both need."
Rightfully so, Courtney has been taking the news hard. Shortly after she shared the news, she posted a photo that gave insight into her unimaginable pain. Alongside a picture of a glass of champagne, she said, "Numbing myself of the deep loneliness I feel."
- Jan. 22, 2018 tk