Former "Bachelorette" Andi Dorfman has "embraced the single life," but admits that she's still attracted to less than desirable men.
The reality TV star speaks candidly (maybe too candidly) of her love life in her new book, "Single State of Mind." Some of her stories are quite sexually-charged.
"These douchebags coming into my life are my own fault. Why am I drawn to such losers? I think I have some soul searching to do," she wrote.
Andi found fame after appearing on "The Bachelor." Fans loved her and she was quickly named the 10th "The Bachelorette." She got engaged at the end of the show to Josh Murray, but the romance fell apart.
In 2015, she moved from Atlanta to New York City.
"When I decided to move to New York, I did it to look for me, not to look for love," she wrote in the book, due out on Jan . 9. "I've embraced the single life and all the glorious independence it has to offer. I want to be able to go on vacations with my friends and not have to think about a man. I want to be able to come home to an empty apartment and drink a bottle of wine, or not, by myself. And most of all, I don't want to be responsible for anyone else."
She also didn't hold back when speaking about her love life — she detailed the time she flew up to Canada to meet a guy. After a bottle of wine, she had "the best sex of my life ," she said. Still, she described the man as "cold and weird."
She said she quickly hopped back on a plane to head back to New York with "no emotional feelings, no regret, and almost no dignity left."
She wrote of another man she met in nightclub. The two went back to his place and started getting sexual. She then realized that he thought she was a prostitute when he asked about her rates. She quickly left. "It was the first time I'd ever felt dirtier than the grimy leather seat of a yellow cab," she wrote.
Andi has also dabbled in dating apps and dated a few major league baseball players — one in Seattle and the another played for the New York Yankees.
Her first date with the unnamed Yankee, she said, was "just straight-up sexual." They were inseparable for two weeks before that ended.
"I've learned from firsthand experience that sex isn't everything in a relationship," she wrote. Sometimes you can just date without needing love, date for companionship, for passionate make-outs, for snuggling. At least, until you meet the real thing, right?"
The man in Seattle, she said, was a saint… initially. "I had finally found what it feels like to love and be loved," she said.
He then dumped her via a text message.
Somewhere along the way, she claimed she even met a Hollywood madam who sold girls as sex slaves to millionaires.
Andi is starting to think more long term now.
"I've had so much fun that time has started to physically pass me and my ovaries by. I'm scared, because I know that the time has come for me to start growing up a little bit," she said. "The reality is that I still want all of those things I dreamed of when I was younger. I still want the husband, the children, maybe more of a penthouse in the city than a picket fence, but I still want a life like that."