With Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie contentedly bobbing along the canals of Venice with their photogenic brood, the tabloids have turned their attention elsewhere, focusing this week on the fallout from John Mayer's image-dinging, "sexual napalm"-spiked Playboy interview.
The upshot, according to the tabs: Ex-girlfriends Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston may or may not be fuming over the crooner's verbal spewing, and at least one of them is plotting "revenge," possibly while laughing maniacally and stroking a fluffy white cat.
"Jen & Jessica Stabbed in the Heart!" clichés Star, which claims the ladies are "in complete shock" over Mayer's lack of discretion (really? Heck, we weren't that surprised by his behavior and we've never even dated him -- thankfully).
Simpson, says a source, is "angry and embarrassed" by his revelations about how he couldn't get enough of her (in the Biblical sense), and she has allegedly shed a few buckets of tears over the situation.
Aniston, for her part, "is taking this really personally," contends another spy.
Seems she wasn't happy that he appeared to label her a fuddy-duddy ("the brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter," he told Playboy. "I think she's still hoping it goes back to 1998") who prefers to "pet dogs in the kitchen," a laid-back attitude that didn't mesh with his perfectly mature dream of being a "ninja" and an "explorer."
"She always stuck up for John when her friends cautioned her against him," says the insider, "but now she regrets it."
Let's move on to OK!, which believes Jessica feels "betrayed," "shocked," and "used."
"She was really p---ed off at first when she heard about it, then she read the whole interview," tattles a snitch, "and the first thing that she said was, 'I'm annoyed John would sink so low.'"
An insider echoes that sentiment to Life & Style, explaining, "She feels like this came out of nowhere. She had no idea he was going to be talking about her like this. It's shocking. She thinks he's lost his mind."
The mag claims Simpson, who, save for a single, cryptic tweet and public chuckle, has maintained a dignified silence over Playboy-gate, plans to use the promotional push for her upcoming VH1 reality show, "The Price of Beauty," to fire back at her equal opportunity offender of a former flame.
"She knows she'll be questioned about John again," continues the spy. "If someone asks her about it, she will respond. That's her revenge plan."
(That's her revenge plan? Were charts, graphs and a game of Risk needed to come up with this strategy?)
Anyhoodie, the source helpfully chimes in that Mayer didn't exaggerate about their coital connection: "Jessica told me she and John had amazing sex. She said they did things she had never even thought of."
Yipes, not going to speculate. Don't want to know.
Finally, Us Weekly reports that Simpson is not only "disgusted" with the repentant singer but is also so "p---ed" off that she's ignored a dozen apologetic texts he's sent her way.
(Imagined mea culpa missives: "When I compared you to crack, it was a compliment"; "Sorry for the napalm thing … I meant it burned in a good way"; "You're the only girl I've ever wanted to snort. ;-]")
By contrast, notes the mag, Aniston, rested up from her recent birthday trip to Mexico, is letting the whole thing "roll off her back." Says an insider, "She really doesn't care."
The good news is Jessica isn't sitting at home deleting John's songs off her iPod. On Tuesday night, she hit the Laugh Factory in Los Angeles with a quartet of friends to catch the comedy stylings (such as they are) of her "Employee of the Month" co-star, Dane Cook.
A spy tells E! News that Simpson was tickled to receive a round of drinks courtesy of Cook, whom she was romantically linked to back in 2006 (the rumors were denied all around).
"Jessica seemed so excited," says the eyewitness. "Once the show ended, Simpson was taken upstairs to the VIP area where she and Dane flirted and had another round of beers. The staff left, but Jessica, Dane and her four friends stayed in the VIP section after hours."
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