Miley Cyrus is still struggling with her dog Floyd's death from early April. On Saturday, the "Wrecking Ball" wrote a lengthy, rambling passage describing how emotionally distraught she still is from his passing, and how she failed to protect him as a mother.
"Sad pupils are beautiful too ... humans. We Looooove to feel sorry for ourselves don't we ... i've read we are one of the only species (among dolphins, pigs, some primates) that have sex for pleasure, but I would bet we are the ONLY creatures that put ourselves thru pain for please," Cyrus, 21, wrote. "How many times have you laid in bed and cried when the sun is out shining. Your loved ones are out laughing, and there are thousands of brilliant books to be read…but CHOOSE to lay in a bed and indulge yourself in sadness. Today I am choosing to be that selfish human. There's nothing I want more than to lay and drown this pillow in my tears & think about all my shoulda, coulda, wouldas."
"I keep asking why would the world take my sweet boy from me?" she wrote. "I'm just a baby myself ... I depend on my mother still. She is the one at the end of the day I want to hold me when I'm sad, scared, lonely. Her one job in this world is to eel me out of harms way...I was Floyd's mommy. I don't know when the regret and the guilt will fade. I don't know if it ever will."
Cyrus confirmed the Alaskan Klee Kai's death on April 1 via Twitter. "Today is the 2nd worst day of my life. I don't wanna say it because I don't want it to be real...I am broken," she tweeted at the time. She cried singing Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide" at a Boston show the following night, and later gave away her new dog Moonie that her mom, Tish Cyrus, tried to replace Floyd with.
"I feel like I let my boy down," Cyrus continued via Twitter. "My job was to protect him and I'm not a person that takes failure lightly...Today is one of those days where I can't open the curtains to see the sun, open the windows to hear the world going on around me because to be honest I hate the fact that the world's still spinning. I want it to stop, I want everyone's heart to break the way my heart is breaking."
She concluded: "No matter how much I cry or beg of 'god' to wake me up from this nightmare, it is what it is (at least that's what everyone keeps reminding me). There's no waking up from reality so today I am being a helplessly hopeless human & I'm ok with that."
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