Michael Murdock / Splash News 1 / 5
Michael Murdock / Splash News 1 / 5

Oksana Grigorieva is finally talking about her ongoing public battle with ex Mel Gibson: the custody fight over daughter Lucia, the harrowing audio tapes and disturbing photos indicating physical abuse.

"I'm devastated. Everybody's devastated," Grigorieva, 40, tells RadarOnline in her first extended interview since the scandal broke a few weeks ago. (The Russian musician gave a very brief comment to photographers last week.)

"I think Mel, basically, is trivializing domestic violence," she says.

"It is unfair that by standing up to somebody -- and speaking out -- I am being victimized all over again. He has hurt so many people."

Gibson hasn't publicly commented on Grigorieva's claims, but a source close to the actor insists he did not abuse her.

Once again, she denies allegations by Gibson's legal team that she attempted to extort Gibson, 54. "It is all false information he is feeding the press. It is a smear campaign," she adds.

Explaining that a court order prevents her from getting into details, she begs her ex and father to Lucia, 8 months, "Speak the truth, tell the truth, for the sake of your daughter."

Finally, she explains why she chose to tape shocking, obscenity-laced phone calls and voicemails, which she says are from Gibson, that have stormed the web.

"Because I didn't think I was going to make it through the night," she explains.

She adds that all of that disturbing audio was recorded during one night.

"Everything -- by the way, this is really important -- all the tapes that you hear on the Internet, all of them were recorded that one night. ... The tapes, as you call them, the voicemails, everything was recorded that night because I was in fear for my life."

She adds, "I really did not think I was going to make it."

Authorities are investigating the extortion charge against Grigorieva, as well as domestic violence claims against Gibson.

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