starsurf / Splash News
starsurf / Splash News

After a few rumors were swirling around about Paris Hilton this week, she decided to set the record straight ... by blogging (remember blogging? It's like Twitter, only longer).

As previously reported, Paris and Doug Reinhardt were involved in a bar brawl last night in Miami. When Paris went to put in an innocent request for new music from an unknown DJ (as Paris writes, "I don't even know his name cause he sucks so bad.), she was physically pushed away by the DJ's bodyguard.

Paris goes on to regale us with the gripping drama that ensued, "My boyfriend, like my knight in shining armor stepped in and told the guy to keep his hands off of me. Then all hell broke loose ... Doug was fighting off like 6 guys. But he was of course stronger then them all but one of the idiots punched him in the face and busted open his lip. There was blood all over, I cried I was so upset and scared."

We do feel kind of sorry for Doug. What mildly inebriated man standing near Paris Hilton's boyfriend when a brawl broke loose wouldn't try to throw a punch? This is, after all, the dude who bought her a $10k teacup poodle and a diamond encrusted "D" necklace.

Paris then clears up the rumors about her supposed proposal from Doug. She writes, "Another thing I keep getting are emails from you guys, calls from family, flowers from friends congratulating me on my engagement. All we did was have a lovely dinner at my mom's favorite restaurant. We had all been together on My BFF Show set all day shooting scenes for this upcoming season. It was histerical [sic] and a lot of fun ... He's my best friend, we are so much alike"

Her boyfriend is her best friend? So the "BFF Show" is all just a elaborately staged RUSE? How disappointing.

And finally, she gives a plug for her latest business venture, "I'm launching my new sunglass line. I'm so excited! I love wearing sunglasses and now I have my very own line!"

So to recap: Some mean DJ's were picking on Paris' boyfriend, who she loves, but to whom she is not yet engaged. Buy her sunglasses.