Longtime "Saturday Night Live" star Darrell Hammond has been making audiences laugh each weekend since 1995. But beneath his entertaining stage persona is a wealth of pain.
In a new book titled, "God, If You're Not Up There, I'm F----d," the comic, best known for his impressions of Bill Clinton, Dick Cheney and Al Gore, admits he's struggled with drug and alcohol addiction and self-harm as a way of dealing with childhood trauma.
"I kept a pint of Remy in my desk at work. The drinking calmed my nerves and quieted the disturbing images in my head ... when drinking didn't work, I cut myself," Hammond writes, in an excerpt released by the New York Post Monday.
Hammond also recounts being taken away from the NBC studio to a New York hospital in a straitjacket in 1998, at the height of his addiction. "My wife came but I didn't recognize her," he writes.
Eventually, his drug use changed -- but not for the better.
He recalls, "I'd started adding an obscene amount of cocaine to my binges ... I had to be creative about how I did it without other people catching on or letting it interfere with the work. At least too much."
Although he eventually tried rehab, Hammond relapsed in 2009, when he says he "had the brilliant idea I should try crack," which led to a period spent in a crack house in Harlem.
With the book due out Nov. 8, Hammond sent copies to the staff at "Saturday Night Live," the Post reports.
"I don't have anything bad to say about anyone there," he told the paper. "They all really went above and beyond the call for me."