Janet announced that she's postponing five concerts in Japan next month 'due to the impact of economic crisis.' Here are other possible reasons she canceled (aside from terrible record sales, of course):

1. The recent 3.7 California earthquake might cause the plate tectonics on the seafloor to shift and a tsunami could hit Tokyo.

2. Janet can't possibly perform with the deadly Mercury poisoning that's been hitting all the Hollywood celebrities lately.

3. Rush Limbaugh wishes Janet's tour will fail and what Rush wants, Rush gets. He is best friends with Satan afterall.

4. What if Oprah turns down Rob Blagojevich's Senate seat? Janet would be the next choice, obviously.

5. Okay fine, terrible record sales.