Splash News

Not only is Madonna, 50, old enough to be boy-toy Jesus Luz's mother, she's old enough to be the 22-year-old's grandmother.

The New York Post reports that Luz already has a grandma, and she is around 50 years old, too.

Meanwhile, Luz's mom, Cristiane Regina da Silva, a hairdresser in Brazil, is apparently 14 years younger than Madonna and believes the pop icon has kidnapped and brainwashed her son.

We'd like to speculate that Madonna was merely hoping to adopt the Brazilian babe as a third son and give him a better life here in the States, but most adoptive moms don't take steamy W Magazine photos with their new children.

Luz's whole family (and trail of ex-girlfriends) back in Brazil are apparently upset he spent Christmas in the Maldives with Madge, and the Brazilian media are claiming that her PR people confiscated his cell phone. Apparently the Luz clan, all devout Christians, are worried that Jesus will be lured into Kabbalah. He's already dropped the 40 Graus Modelos modeling agency back in his homeland to join Ford Models in New York, if that's any indication of his burgeoning commitment to Madonna.

So is it true love or Stockholm syndrome? We'll say, like, a prayer for Jesus.