By Mark Gray
4:33pm PST, Nov 16, 2023
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Dean McDermott is coming clean about the true impetus behind his split from Tori Spelling, confessing that his drinking and dependance on prescription pills were essentially the last straw for the "Beverly Hills, 90210" star.
"All Tori's ever done to this day is want me to be happy and healthy and I inflicted a lot of damage and pain on that woman," he told DailyMail.com in an interview published on Nov. 15. "I'm taking accountability for that today. And it's the biggest amend that I'm ever going to have to make."
Keep clicking to read more about Dean's incredibly honest admissions about his role in their split after nearly two decades of marriage and five kids…
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In June — 17 years after they exchanged vows — Dean McDermott announced that his marriage to Tori Spelling was over. Dean shared the news in a post on Instagram on June 17 before deleting it hours later. It read in part, "It's with great sadness and a very very heavy heart that after 18 years together and 5 amazing children, that @torispelling and I have decided to go our separate ways, and start a new journey of our own."
The announcement caught some insiders by surprise.
"Tori and Dean are not getting a divorce," a source told Us Weekly. "Tori and Dean have been better than ever" recently, the source continued, adding that "they've had their ups and downs like any couple, but [they] have continued working on their marriage through couple's counseling. They love each other and are not going to split." According to the source, "Friends suspect that Dean posted that because he and Tori may have gotten into a big blowout fight last night. He obviously regretted it, so he deleted the post."
But it turns out that it was true: The duo had split. Five months later, however, Dean revealed, he and Tori have started communicating again — via text.
Keep reading for all the details on why the marriage ended and why Dean is taking the blame…
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While a reconciliation does not appear to be on the table, Dean McDermott is hoping to make amends with Tori Spelling and their children. But he knows that he's done a lot of damage.
In his Nov. 15 interview with DailyMail.com, Dean admitted to drinking a bottle of tequila and taking a "handful of narcos" — prescription meds — every night. While he fed his addiction, his now-estranged wife and kids were "petrified" in other rooms, he said.
There were times he would pass out and leave Tori "frantically checking on him to make sure he was still alive," DailyMail.com reported.
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Dean McDermott's substance abuse issues drove him and his wife apart.
"That's what it led to and that's what led to the brokenness and to what happened between me and Tori," he said of his drinking and pill-popping. "I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't live that life anymore. I was tired of the anger and the yelling."
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Although Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling didn't split until 2023, they began sleeping in separate bedrooms in 2017 because of issues with their pets. "Animals sleeping in the bedroom on the bed. There was the pig. There's a chicken that was living in the bathroom and multiple dogs," he told DailyMail.com, "And we know dogs have accidents and our particular dogs were having a lot. And I just couldn't deal with that anymore. So I created a healthy boundary for myself and I said, I can't do this. I can't live and sleep in this kind of condition … and moved to another room and things just progressed from there. There were no efforts to sort of remedy the problem to get back into the room."
Dean said they soon felt like "roommates," not husband and wife.
"Alcohol made me feel good enough. I started feeling good enough until it got to a point where it didn't — it ended up in isolation," Dean said. "I've never been so lonely in the same house with six other people, never been so lonely in my life. I didn't know how to get out of the situation I was in. I was hurting. I was heartbroken. I was depressed. I hated myself. I didn't want to live."
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Dean McDermott was impossible to live with during his drinking binges, he admitted to DailyMail.com.
"It's going to be living the rest of my life making amends because I took something that was really beautiful and I just tore it down year after year, day after day," he said of his marriage with Tori Spelling.
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Since splitting from Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott has moved on with a new woman, girlfriend Lily Calo, but they don't live together. Instead, he resides in a sober house with eight other men — a living arrangement that came after a 40-day summer rehab stint.
In fact, Tori helped him find the rehab center. While he was in treatment, Tori was living in an RV with their children after their home developed mold issues.
"Tori's very resourceful. She's a survivor. She always lands on her feet. And like I said, she is one of the hardest working people I've ever met," Dean told DailyMail.com. "She's dedicated to our children, and she's dedicated to her craft."
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Despite how things ended, Dean McDermott has no regrets about his marriage.
"It was a total fairytale. I mean, it was a beautiful love story. Love at first sight and getting married in the most beautiful way possible," he told DailyMail.com of their Fiji wedding. "It was a dream come true. And then we had to come back to Hollywood and deal with all the s*** people gave us. After we got married, they were all saying 'give it six months.' Well, so much for six months — we showed you because it's been 18 years and five kids."
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Prior to tying the knot with Tori Spelling, Dean McDermott was married to a fellow Canadian, singer-songwriter Mary Jo Eustace. Drinking, he told DailyMail.com, played a role in ending that marriage. (So did infidelity.) He didn't stop drinking after meeting Tori, but she didn't realize he had a problem until later.
"Tori didn't know about the drinking to start with because when we met, we were celebrating this newfound love and this relationship. We had both been in relationships that we were very unhappy with. So it was party time. We could go and do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted," Dean said.
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Dean McDermott told DailyMail.com that Tori Spelling's father, legendary producer Aaron Spelling, was "kind" during the one time they met, but he said her mom, Candy Spelling, was a different story.
"I haven't spent a lot of time with her, and we didn't from the beginning. It is unfortunate she never tried to get to know me. It wasn't for lack of an effort on my part — she just didn't want to know and brushed off everything I tried to do," he said. "It was difficult for Tori. Here's the man that she loves and married and there's no relationship with the mother-in-law. I think that would hurt anybody."
Candy, according to Dean, rarely sees Tori and does very little to help grandkids Liam, 16, Stella, 15, Hattie, 12, Finn, 11, and Beau, 6.
"It's your daughter. It's your flesh and blood and it's your grandbabies. And for someone who is so blessed to have so much, it would be really nice for her to share with her daughter," Dean continued. "As I have said to Candy, I don't want any of it [for myself]. I'm not interested. I would just like it if as a mother you would reach out and help your daughter and your son, Randy, who is a beautiful guy, he's such an amazing man. He's a life coach and doing wonderful things. These are wonderful kids. These are both wonderful kids that came from privilege and deserve to be happy and to share in that, in my opinion."
Still, he insisted that Tori never was "expecting" to get a large inheritance from her father.
Regarding Candy, Dean added, "I think the real shame is for her to miss out on these wonderful children because they are really beautiful children. They're very gifted and special."
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While much of the DailyMail.com story is centered on Dean McDermott's marriage and recovery, he also acknowledged his 2013 affair with Emily Goodhand.
According to Dean, wife Tori Spelling wasn't overly upset but told her husband that he needed to seek help, knowing that alcohol was in part to blame for his affair.
"She really tried to help me and she would do it in a loving and subtle way like making suggestions until it got so bad, she was like, 'You need to get help.' The first time through rehab, what triggered it was a pretty public event that we all know about," he said. "And this isn't an excuse, but it was fueled by my alcoholism and drug addiction. That was my first stint. The shame was so great with that because it was everywhere — everybody knew and everybody knew what a piece of s*** I was."
