funny answers

Carrie Underwood is 70 years old… according to her son

Talk about looking great for your age!

Carrie Underwood is a senior citizen in the eyes of her 4-year-old son, Isaiah Fisher.

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On Thursday, the country star posted a photo of her son's class assignment, which asks fairly innocuous questions about her. Titled "All About My Mom," the sheet is a fill-in-the-blanks questionnaire that asks about eye color, hair and things your mom says to you, among other things.

The hilarity of Isaiah's assignment, though, are his answers about his mom's age and profession. Carrie, he says, is 70 years old. As for her profession, he wrote "wash the laundry." The form later asks Isaiah what Carrie is good at. He wrote, "folding laundry."

The "Before He Cheats" crooner couldn't help but comment on the answers. "Soooo…apparently I'm 70 and I'm really good at doing the laundry. 🤷‍♀️😂," she hilariously captioned the Instagram post.

The photo prompted many of Carrie's well-known friends to comment with laughter.

"Bahahaha," Miranda Lambert wrote. Lindsay Ell commented, "This is amazing."

While Carrie's laundry skills apparently can't be questioned, her parenting skills are awfully good, too. Last January, the superstar and her husband, Mike Fisher, welcomed their second child, son Jacob.

"He's such a smiley baby," she told E! News. "His snuggles. I just like to smell him — that might be weird. Sometimes, I'm like, 'I just need to smell my baby.' He's getting a little chub — like little chubby legs. Just pinching at his chub is real sweet."

While Isaiah may not know what Carrie actually does for a living, he does know that she sings for people.

"He's a supportive child. He's very encouraging," she said. "So, when he sees you singing he'll be like, 'Mommy, you did so good!' So, he likes those positive words."

Single Mom

Iggy Azalea splits with Playboi Carti, says she'll raise their son 'alone'

Rapper Iggy Azalea is now a single mom after welcoming her first child with Playboi Carti, also a rapper, earlier this year.

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She shared the news on her Instagram Story late on Friday, Oct. 23, according to JustJared, writing, "You lost a real 1!!!!" and adding, "People take loyalty for granted & That's why I'd rather be alone."

The next day, Iggy, 30, returned to her Story to clarify that she'd split with the 24-year-old musician.

"What I meant last night was that I'm raising my son alone & I'm not in a relationship," she posted.

Iggy confirmed she'd welcomed a baby boy in June, sharing his name, Onyx, with her followers about a month later.

"I have a son," she announced June 10, shocking many of her fans.

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"I kept waiting for the right time to say something but if feels like the more time passes the more I realize I'm always going to feel anxious to share news that giant with the world," she explained.

"I want to keep his life private but wanted to make it clear he is not a secret & I love him beyond words." 

Iggy and Playboi, whose real name is Jordan Carter, have split up at least one other time since they started seeing each other in 2018.

Thanks, Prez!

Sacha Baron Cohen thanks Donald Trump for unwittingly plugging 'Borat' sequel

Donald Trump's recent criticism of Sacha Baron Cohen's new "Borat" sequel is nothing but "free publicity," according to Baron Cohen, who tweeted a response to the president's comments on Saturday, Oct. 24.

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The comments in question were made aboard Air Force One Friday, when a reporter asked Trump if he had concerns about potential breaches of security.

The reporter was referencing a scene from Baron Cohen's movie that the actor promoted on social media the night of the final presidential debate. It shows actress Maria Bakalova, posing as "Tutar," the Borat character's 15-year-old daughter apparently walking, unvetted, into the White House while "job-shadowing" OAN reporter Chanel Rion.

According to USA Today, Trump responded by saying he wasn't aware of "what happened" with the seemingly unofficial entry. He then attacked Cohen, whose new film sarcastically posits his Kazakh Borat character as a "MAGA" supporter.

"Years ago, you know, he tried to scam me," Trump told the press corps on Air Force One. "That's a phony guy. And I don't find him funny."

The president then said the "scam" took place 15 years ago. "To me he was a creep," he added.

On Saturday, Baron Cohen responded to Trump's dis.

"Donald—I appreciate the free publicity for Borat!" he posted. "I admit, I don't find you funny either. But yet the whole world laughs at you. I'm always looking for people to play racist buffoons, and you'll need a job after Jan. 20. Let's talk!"

Baron Cohen's film, "Borat Subsequent Moviefilm: Delivery of Prodigious Bribe to American Regime for Make Benefit Once Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan," also made headlines last week, thanks to a scene in which Trump's personal lawyer, former New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani, takes part in what he doesn't realize is a fake interview conducted Bakalova, again posing as Borat's daughter and a journalist.

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After the interview, Bakalova, 24, invites Giuliani, 76, to a hotel room for a drink.

The room has apparently been set up with hidden cameras, which proceed to film Giuliani as he encourages the would-be journalist to give him her "phone number and address" before lying down and seemingly reaching into his pants.

The "Borat" sequel is currently streaming on Aamazon Prime.


Called By God?

Kanye West says 'God has called' him to 'be the leader of the free world'

In a lengthy and at times bizarre appearance on "The Joe Rogan Experience" podcast released Saturday, Oct. 24, rapper, designer and presidential hopeful Kanye West says he believes he's been called by God to become the President of the United States.

He also allows that he's open to running for a lower office, such as Governor of California — but only if "it's in God's plan."

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Kanye, who's still running for president in 2020 despite not making it onto the ballot in many states, explained his White House bid in these terms:

"There couldn't be a better time to put a visionary in the captain's chair. I'm not here to down [Donald] Trump or down [Joe] Biden, I'm just here to express why God has called me to take this position," he said (per Variety's edited version). "I'm a great leader because I listen and I'm empathetic. I do believe in world peace."

Kanye also told the host that Trump's unexpected win in 2016 showed him, "you can win if you're coming from outside politics."

From there, the often disjointed and nearly three-hour long conversation delved into 'Ye's other political options, including the idea he could follow in Arnold Schwarzenegger's footsteps and become a popular governor in his home state of California, perhaps to gain some political experience before taking another shot at the presidency.

"I believe that my calling is to be the leader of the free world," Kanye explained, according to the Inquisitr. He added, "If it's in God's plan that part of my path is to be the governor then that's fine," before asserting that, "the ultimate service position is leader of the free world."

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At other points in the podcast, Kanye suggested Bob Marley, Michael Jackson, Prince, Bruce Lee and Brandon Lee may have been murdered and said he believes Disney made "Black Panther" as a way of overwhelming the internet with a white man-made version of the concept, as a means of distracting people from Bobby Seale and Huey P. Newton's Black Power political party of the same name.

Later, Kanye returned to his previously lodged complaints about how artist contracts work in the music industry, saying he simply wants to create a way for things to be "fair" for all parties involved.

"I'm not at war with the music industry. I'm just saying we need to innovate. When I posted my contracts, I had ten contracts that kept putting me inside a labyrinth and things we don't need," Kanye said.

"Prince would say we don't need the distribution part," he added. "I'm the kind of person where I'm not trying to eliminate anyone's job. There's a way both parties can be happy. These deals can be flipped in a way that they're just more fair."

He went on to imply those bad deals are to blame for his alleged lack of music-related income.

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"At this point music loses me money," Kanye said. "Of my $5 billion net worth, music is negative $4 million."

To explain that math: Back in April, Forbes amended its annual billionaires list to include Kanye, who had reportedly failed to submit proper documentation proving his net worth. At the time, the outlet reported he was worth "a bit more than $1 billion."'

(That said, his businesses are certainly operating with more money than that. In early July, for example, a report from the United States Treasury's Small Business Administration showed the billionaire rapper's Yeezy fashion line had been awarded $2 to $5 million through the Paycheck Protection Program.)

Throughout all of this, the podcast host worked hard to keep things on track, and even complimented Kanye on the way his brain works, saying he's too often accused of "ranting" when he actually seems to have thought his ideas through quite.

"When I talk, it's not a rant," Kanye replied.

"It's a symphony of ideas. I just tell the truth and telling the truth is crazy in a world full of lies."

'A Weird Time'

Josh Hartnett explains why he left Hollywood

Back in 2001, a 22-year-old Josh Hartnett suddenly found himself being heralded as Hollywood's Next Big Thing. But as he recently told The Guardian, "being huge was never something I aspired to."

Still, after his performances in "The Virgin Suicides," "Black Hawk Down" and "Pearl Harbor," the industry seemed to have other plans for the rising star — a point Vanity Fair made quite clear in its July 2001 cover story, "The Making of Josh Hartnett."

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"Oh, that was an awful piece," Josh told The Guardian. "Was there even a quote from me in it, or was it just everyone talking about how hot I was? People got a chip on their shoulder about me after that. They genuinely thought I'd been thrust on them. It was a very weird time."

Now 42 and living in Surrey, England, with his wife, British actress Tamsin Egerton, and their two kids, the "Target Number One" star feels confident about having stepped back from the "huge" movie star persona he was being groomed for at the time.

He's also still trying to wrap his head around how the Hollywood machine managed to simultaneously prop him up as a massive star and question whether he deserved that status.

"It was a set-up-to-fail moment," he says after being reminded Jerry Bruckheimer compared him to Tom Cruise in the same Vanity Fair piece, which promised "Pearl Harbor" would "virtually overnight make an international movie star out of a comparative unknown," that unknown being Josh.

"It's just that it happened at a time when I wasn't that famous, and it seemed to already be asking whether I should be or not," he continued. "I felt like: 'Oh my God! I'm not the tallest poppy yet — don't cut me down!'"

It didn't help that Josh was asked to play Superman and wanted to make the character, as he put it, a "fear-based" superhero who's "become afraid of himself and his own power."

He ended up "walking away" from the offer, The Guardian notes.

After that, Josh said, Hollywood types "looked at me as someone who had bitten the hand that fed me," an assumption he now says was off-base.

"It wasn't that. I wasn't doing it to be recalcitrant or a rebel. People wanted to create a brand around me that was going to be accessible and well-liked, but I didn't respond to the idea of playing the same character over and over, so I branched out. In the process, I burned my bridges at the studios because I wasn't participating."

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In addition to his 2020 crime drama, "Target Number One," Josh recently appeared in the TV series, "Paradise Lost" and "Penny Dreadful." He also has three films due out next year, including James Franco's "The Long Home" and Guy Ritchie's "Wrath of Man."

Looking back to where he began, alongside Kirsten Dunst in "The Virgin Suicides," he admits, "It's a little bit heartbreaking to see all that time has passed…. I was a child. I was 19. 'The Virgin Suicides' felt like a group of friends all pulling together. I think I'm still looking for that experience whenever I make a film."

As for that Vanity Fair piece? "It was actually an interesting look at the nature of fame," Josh muses. "If only it wasn't about me."

medical reveal

Arnold Schwarzenegger reveals he had heart surgery

Arnold Schwarzenegger successfully underwent heart surgery in Ohio, he revealed.

The "Terminator" star posted several pictures to Instagram on Oct. 23, one of which showed him recovering in a hospital bed. 

"Thanks to the team at the Cleveland Clinic, I have a new aortic valve to go along with my new pulmonary valve from my last surgery," he wrote alongside the images. 

The former California governor underwent emergency heart surgery in March 2018. He would later go on to say that he thought it would be a simple procedure with a minimal recovery effort, but the recovery turned out to be grueling and he felt like he was fighting for his life. He spoke about the medical procedure earlier this year while speaking to 2020 graduates.

"I woke up from the surgery,  I woke up 16 hours later instead of four hours [later]. And there was a tube sticking out of my mouth. The doctor moved forward, took the tube and ripped it out of my throat. And I was coughing violently, and he says, 'Just keep coughing. And then let us tell you what happened,'" he said. "They told me they had to do emergency surgery, that something went wrong during this non-invasive procedure. And then it became very invasive. They said they broke through the heart wall and there was internal bleeding and I could have died if they didn't open up my sternum and do open-heart surgery."

He added, "Life will always throw an obstacle in your path, like it was my heart surgery or with your graduation. But if you have a vision, a very clear vision of where you want to go and what you want to do, then there's no problem."

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Arnold, who also had his pulmonic valve replaced in 1997, is proving this time that he's feeling good, even sharing images of himself out and about in Cleveland.

"I feel fantastic and have already been walking the streets of Cleveland enjoying your amazing statues," he said on Friday. "Thank you to every doc and nurse on my team!"

After his post, several of Arnold's children commented on his images.

"PLEASE DONT GO WORKOUT TODAY!!" Patrick Schwarzenegger wrote. Katherine Schwarzenegger commented with several praying hand emojis.

B-day love

Celine Dion pays loving tribute to twin boys on 10th birthday

Celine Dion's husband, Rene Angelil, passed away in 2016, but he's still a huge part of his children's lives. 

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On Oct. 23, the singer paid tribute to her twin sons, Nelson and Eddy, on their 10th birthday while referencing Rene, who died after a long battle with throat cancer. 

"Nelson and Eddy, you have been bringing so much joy, love and laughter into our lives every single day for the past 10 years," she wrote on Instagram. "You make me, your big brother and your Dad, who is for sure watching over you, so very proud. Happy birthday my beautiful boys! We love you so very much… – Mom, RC and Dad xx…"

Celine's message was accompanied by several current and past images of the pre-teen boys. The images show the boys rapidly becoming young men. 

The superstar also shares 19-year-old son René-Charles, 19, with her late husband.

Celine often keeps Rene's spirit alive in Instagram tributes to her kids. On René-Charles' last birthday in January she called him a "true gentleman."

"I'm so proud of the way you're conducting yourself in life," she wrote at the time. "I want you to know that your father's guidance continues to support and protect you… as I do. Keep being the best of yourself… strong, passionate, and wise, as you pursue all of your dreams in life – the sky's the limit!"

She added, "And above all, have a good time!…. Your happiness, is my happiness. I love you so much, my dear son! Mom xx…"

vocal voter

Jennifer Aniston casts vote for Biden, shades Kanye

This time Jennifer Aniston is doing the casting!

On Oct. 23, the beloved "Friends" star posted a series of Instagram photos that shows her dropping off her ballot at an authorized ballot drop off box for the 2020 election. Jen told her nearly 36 million followers that she voted for Democratic nominee Joe Biden and his running mate Kamala Harris. 

"#IVOTED for @joebiden and @kamalaharris. I dropped my ballot off, and I did it early," she said. 

In her lengthy caption, she explained the rationale behind her vote. 

"I voted for them because right now this country is more divided than ever. Right now, a few men in power are deciding what women can and can't do with their own bodies. Our current President has decided that racism is a non-issue. He has repeatedly and publicly ignored science… too many people have died," she said. "I urge you to really consider who is going to be most affected by this election if we stay on the track we're on right now… your daughters, the LGBTQ+ community, our Black brothers and sisters, the elderly with health conditions, and your future kids and grandkids (who will be tasked with saving a planet that our leadership refuses to believe is hurting)."

It's not surprising that Jennifer sided with the Biden/Harris ticket, as she's openly spoken about her admiration for Kamala Harris and her disdain for President Donald Trump. 

"This whole thing isn't about one candidate or one single issue, it's about the future of this country and of the world. Vote for equal human rights, for love, and for decency," she said.

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Many of Jen's like-minded famous friends applauded her for her words. 

In ending her caption, Jen took a shot at someone else on the ballot, someone who's gotten a lot of press

"PS – It's not funny to vote for Kanye. I don't know how else to say it," she wrote. "Please be responsible."

Living and breathing

'Dead' man who Drew Barrymore's physic spoke to is actually alive

It feels good to be alive… right? And perhaps no one knows more about that than a former relative of Drew Barrymore's.

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Last week, a physic appeared on Drew's talk show and began summoning relatives who had passed. Most of those who supposedly came through were relatives of her ex-husband Will Kopelman. 

"You are … a part of that family — it doesn't matter [that] the two of you are not together anymore," physic Anna Raimondi told a happy Drew.

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Drew welled up when Anna spoke of a deceased "judge" who came through, who Drew identified as "David." 

Judge David Kopelman, however, is alive and well and living in Boston. Now, Drew's ex is sounding off on the physic.

"Drew and I have a close and highly amicable co-parenting relationship; I have and always will continue to cheer her on from the sidelines. That being said, the segment was a solid laugh considering my uncle Judge David Kopelman is still very much alive," Will said. "And I'm a little surprised that Drew chose to give oxygen to someone like this, because self-entitled mediums who prey on vulnerable bereaved people with claims they can communicate with their dead loved ones in exchange for fame and compensation all belong in jail. None of my dead relatives — all of whom I'm sure would have really liked Drew — are speaking with some submental hack working the talk show circuit. This I assure you."

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Following Will's unfiltered comments, a rep for Drew told Page Six, "The grandfather of Will is Frank, who was a judge and is deceased. David is … Will's uncle, who's alive and also a judge. That was the confusion."

Anna, meanwhile, stands by her abilities, telling the publication, "I felt a judge who is passed. Drew said David. I only felt a judge."

Feeling soar

Taking flight! Emilia Clarke goes skydiving for 34th birthday

The mother of dragons has her own wings!

To celebrate her 34th birthday, Emilia Clarke decided to take flight and soar over the United Kingdom. On Oct. 23, the "Game of Thrones" star posted a series of images from an adrenaline-filled skydiving adventure she went on.

"What could match the profound existential terror of another birthday?" she captioned the images. "Jumping out of a… plane is what."

Emilia used several funny hashtags to document her thoughts, including "free falling," "birthday blues take a punch," "who says you can only fly dragons" and "my facial expressions tell you all you need to know." 

In ending her caption, she thanked Hinton Sky Diving for "the most exhilarating experience of my life!"

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Emilia's fans loved the pictures while they sent birthday love to the actress (even Courteney Cox gave Emilia a shoutout in the comments section.)

One fan wrote, "Very glad that parachute worked." Other fans naturally tied her flight to her famous "GOT character," Daenerys Targaryen.

"Does this feel like riding a dragon?" one person asked. "After flying on a dragon, piece of cake. Happy everything," another said. 

Fly, Emilia, fly!