Star trumpets on its cover, "Tiger & Jessica: The Shocking Story Inside," and teases, "Tiger's shameless come-on," "Jess makes HER move," and "What happened next!"
We'll get to what's really a "shock" and "shameless" in a moment, but first let's take a gander at the Star's claims.
The piece begins, "Cocktail waitresses, models, escort - and Jessica Simpson? Tiger Woods thought he could add Jess to his list of conquests when the two shared a flirtatious weekend just days before she and Tony Romo split!"
According to the tab, Woods invited Romo to be his golf partner "at the AT&T National Pro-Am golf tournament in Bethesda, Md., and Jessica went along to sing the national anthem." It goes on to quote a so-called "friend" of hers as saying, "She'd actually met Tiger before and thought he was really sexy… She was thrilled to be seeing him again, and she even packed a bunch of slinky outfits."
That same "friend" tells the Star, "Jessica said that she felt like Tony wasn't paying any attention to her, so she was like, 'What the heck!'… She decided to have fun with Tiger whether it bother Tony or not."
The article claims that throughout the "flirtatious weekend" Simpson and Woods "met up at brunches" and "went out of their way to see each other."
Oh wait, there's more. The mag says "things soon got touchy-feely,' and that she would "playfully pat his chest when he was talking to her" and Woods "tenderly brushed her arm as they chatted and flirted." Says a source, "He made it clear he was into her."
Star further reports that Simpson "asked Tiger coyly if he was available for private golf lessons" and how they slipped each other their cell phone numbers and e-mail addresses."
Following the tournament, they exchanged a number of texts. But alas, the romance was forbidden, writes the Star, because Woods is married, and, says a source, "She would never date a married man… Her dad's an ex-minister. He would disown her!"
Adds another dubious "pal": "If he wasn't married, she would totally have gone for him."
Here's what's true: Simpson met Woods on July 1, 2009.
Here's what's not true: EVERYTHING ELSE.
First, they did not spend a "flirtatious weekend." Simpson flew in and out to sing the national anthem at the golf tournament. Therefore, she didn't "pack a bunch of slinky outfits" nor did they meet up for "brunches."
The whole part about "She'd actually met Tiger before and thought he was really sexy… She was thrilled to be seeing him again." That day was the FIRST time they had ever met, says a source close to the singer.
Additionally, nothing "touchy-feely" transpired between the two, and they did NOT exchange phone numbers nor did she ask for "private golf lessons."
Married or not she would not "have gone for him."
When contacted, a rep for Simpson told Gossip Cop the Star's cover story is "so fabricated, it's disgusting."
What a "shock" - yes, "shameless," Star.