The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Self-Promotion: Life must be pretty darn frustrating for Audrina Patridge right now, what with Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag sucking up all the "Hills" publicity into a vortex of Velveeta-smeared and faux pledges to stick together until they -- or their careers -- kick the bucket. In case you've forgotten (along with everyone else), Audrina has inked a deal for her very own reality show, because she has layers -- non-humdrum, non-tiresome layers -- that the public has yet to see. This will be her chance to blossom, sort of like a deep-fried onion appetizer. Doesn't she deserve some attention, too? If only she could think of a way to compete with the paparazzi-speed-dialing media beast that is Speidi. Leaked topless photos are hot right now, but she's already done that. Besides, it's probably best to keep things classy to counter the unseemly Pratt offensive. And what do classy women do? Why, wear bras, of course! Audrina proves to the world that she knows from sophistication by flashing a bra so ladylike that it not only lifts and separates but also guards against any untoward fraternization between her own impressive hills.