American Thigh-dol: All right, so maybe Jennifer Lopez is more qualified to judge a pouty-sexy-face contest than a singing contest. But in this caboose-skimming Pucci micro-minidress and matching sky-high, peep-toe Louboutins, the newly minted "AI" overlord teaches those wannabe chart-toppers a thing or two about how to work a red carpet. Lesson 1: Never underestimate the impact of inner and upper thigh. Lesson 2: When in doubt, melted disco balls always make an eye-catching fashion statement. Lesson 3: Never forget where you came from. J.Lo may be rich and famous, but the former Jenny from the Block still puts her hair on one Afghan-hound extension at a time, just like the rest of us.