By Melissa Hunter
Whether it be for the press, to land a role, or because they lack any shred of self-awareness, there are certain celebrities who have a habitual tendency to give too much information. And with the dawn of the Twitter era, stars have an open forum to do so now more than ever, without any publicist or copy editor getting in the way of their giving us this good ol' TMI.
12. Angelina Jolie:
The OG Oversharer is the one and only Angelina Jolie. Long before the Brangelina years, she got hitched to Billy Bob and they started expressing their love through, you know, tattoos, vials of blood and grave plots. She also infamously, er, overshared her love for her brother at the Oscars in 2000. While she's cleaned up her act, and her public quotations mainly involve speaking about charitable causes, we kind of miss the days of Angelina sound bites like,"You're young, you're drunk, you're in bed, you have knives; s–t happens…" Wait, what kind of s–t? OK, that was both too much and too little information simultaneously. Nailed it. Hope these other celebs are taking notes.
11. Tori Spelling:
Apparently sharing your every intimate moment on national television isn't enough for Tori. Especially with the whole pesky FCC business. So what kind of outlet could Tori find for sharing her most intimate details of her life? For a scholar like herself, a book is the only natural progression.
In her autobiography "Mommywood," she goes into some beautiful moments from her pregnancy. Like how her husband shaved her pubic hair. She wrote, "I'd say, 'Dean, how's it looking down there? Do I need to shave?' But of course I couldn't shave. So Dean had to shave me. He'd hold up a mirror and say, 'How'd I do?' Or he'd take a picture with his BlackBerry to show me."
Do you think those pics will go in the family photo album? At least they didn't mobile upload them.
10. Ashton Kutcher:
Anyone who dominates the ultimate oversharing device has to have a deep love for talking too much. So, naturally, the reigning Twitter Lord himself (I think he may have gotten e-Knighted) Sir Ashton has had his fair share of overshares. All in 140 characters or less — a laconic oversharer, if you will.
A classic came in the way of sharing a picture of wife Demi Moore's butt while ironing (though I don't think anyone was complaining). Of course, when you have an audience of 2.6 million people listening to your every brain fart, it's difficult not to let one rip every couple minutes. At least there aren't Scratch 'n' Sniff tweets. Yet.
9. Kate Winslet:
Kate is arguably the most talented actress of her generation. And arguably the biggest naked body oversharer. She's appeared in over 25 films, and her naked body has appeared in just about all of them. OK, maybe not "The Holiday," but most.
Anyway, oversharing her body doesn't seem to hurt. In fact, it helps to win Oscars (according to Megan Fox). But she doesn't need to go into details. And yet, she does. She said on her nude role in "The Reader": "Because of years of waxing, as all of us girls know, it doesn't come back quite the way it used to. They even made me a merkin [wig for her ladyparts] because they were so concerned that I might not be able to grow enough."
Merkin talks should really just stay between Kate and her creepster hairstylist.
8. Rosie O'Donnell:
Rosie goes the old school route of oversharing. Keeping it to talk shows and interviews. In truth, anyone who makes a career out of talk shows has a passion for unsolicited confessions. In an interview with Tyra (an aspiring oversharer), she explained her trials and tribulations with menopause. And brought Madonna into it, too.
She explains, "She's [Madonna] great, she's a lot like a big sister." OK, that would be the weirdest family ever. "When I started having my hormone things, I'm like, 'What the hell is going on?' She's like, 'Get the cream.'" Get the cream. Classic. She continues, though we wish she wouldn't:
"It started for me at 41 … I would be in the bed, and I would wake up and the sheets would be soaking wet — not damp — soaking wet." Just try to get Rosie's soaking wet sheets and Madonna's ambiguous cream out of your head today. I dare you.
7. Miley Cyrus:
The "She's just being Miley" defense has been used so many times for Miley's egregious overshares that it's turned into a catchphrase. She's even admitted, "I have word vomit."
While her quotes tend to be outrageous, her overshares are mostly in the form of photos. Ones that no one wants to see. Well maybe bigots and pedophiles. Otherwise, no one. From her extremely controversial "mock Asian" photo, to her uncomfortably sexy Vanity Fair spread, to her "Baywatch"-style jog, and, most recently, her creepy TwitPics with the producer of her latest movie, Miley continues to be … Miley.
A rapper, a designer, an entrepreneur, an oversharer. The hyphenate took his multitasking a step too far when he tweeted, "Having tantric sex!!!! I feel so much better!!! Thank you."
No, thank YOU, Diddy, for putting that image into our heads. The rapper has commented on several occasions of his affinity for the ways of the Tantra. Apparently with the hours of lovemaking gives one time to simultaneously Tweet. Let's just hope it was through a smart phone and he and his lover didn't scoot their way over to a desktop. One can hope.
5. Lily Allen:
Lily has the rare ability to pass her sophomoric behavior off as adorable spunk. Until of course, she talks about her brother's nether region.
In an interview, she reminisced on the days she would walk into the bathroom while her brother was there and they'd trade glances at genitalia, and he would poop in front of her. *sigh* Those blissful childhood years. Not only does Lily always drop some unquotables, she varies up the oversharing. With the occasional third-nipple-flash. Or putting her entire fist in her mouth. Oh, Lily, you never cease to surprise us.
4. Megan Fox:
Trying (though denying) in yet another way to follow in Angie's footsteps, Megan doesn't shy away from oversharing. She's called actors prostitutes, said she used to look like a "bull dyke," and when she explained her bisexuality, she said, "I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man." Uh, what?
Maybe she thinks hotness counteracts idiotic oversharing sound bites. Surely it does for some people. And by people, I mean dudes. In all fairness, most men probably don't read the accompanying articles with her photo shoots. Or mute the TV when she's being interviewed. Really, when Megan appears on-screen, all other senses but sight are lost, anyway.
3. Pete Wentz:
Maybe abuse of guyliner and hair gel leads to diminishing cognizance of the world around you. Or maybe Pete Wentz is just crazy. Either way, Wentz can't stop talking when we really wish he would. Through some rather charming interviews, we've learned about his taste for bodily secretions. Pete posted a gripping cinematic exploration (via YouTube) in order to sample his own urine. And when he sampled Ashlee's breast milk, he dubbed it "soury" and "weird." This kid should start moonlighting as a food critic.
And while we always wondered about the magical moment that Ashlee and Pete fell in love, wonder no more. It happened in Room 704 at the SoHo Grand where he explains, "…there was a mirror, and I was like, 'Oh my God, you're banging the girl of your dreams and you're watching it right now.'" *sigh* A regular Cary Grant, this guy.
2. John Mayer:
John is the definitive winner for the TMDI (Too Much D-bag Information). Last year he infuriated the Team Aniston fans (and women in general) by hosting an impromptu press conference with the paparazzi telling them that he broke up with Jen and went on a diatribe about the despicable media and the readers of said media.
Fortunately for him (and unfortunately for us), he's found a platform for his asinine thoughts on Twitter. One of the gems: "I'm getting my bikini wax for the Mayercraft Carrier. Should I go with heart or lightning bolt?" And yet another: "Good news! I just saved 15% on my life's savings by masturbating." But HOW, John? No actually, please don't tell us.
Words of advice: Stick to the singing. Avoid the talking and the typing.
1. Shia LaBeouf:
Oh, Shia. You're every celebrity news reporter's dream. Most celebrities spout out rehearsed lines given to them by their publicists and carefully avoid any controversial trick questions, but not our Shia. He offers uncomfortably personal information to us on a silver platter. The kind of stuff we always wanted to hear but never needed to know. Actually, mostly what we never needed to know. You know, like how his mom is the sexiest woman he knows and would marry her in a second.
Shia claims his sense of humor is derived from "seeing my parents have sex, smoke weed, my mom being naked — just weird hippie stuff." And for all you aspiring Shia girlfriends out there, he wants you to know: he's not well-endowed. I would continue with the context of the quote, but then this countdown would verge on soft-core blog porn.