Colton Underwood struggled so much with his sexuality that he started abusing medications.
In his new Netflix docuseries, "Coming Out Colton," the former "The Bachelor" star says, "I was suppressing my sexuality so hard that I was taking medication daily to deal with depression and anxiety, and that made me a paranoid freak."
His struggle became bad enough that he contemplated suicide.
During a chat with a longtime friend, Colton recalled hitting "rock bottom" one night when he "took a lot of Xanax" in hopes that he would not "wake up the next morning."
"I didn't trust a whole lot of people, and I was trying to do anything and everything I could to protect a secret," he says on the Netflix series, which premieres on Dec. 5.
Colton's attempted suicide came after his breakup with Cassie Randolph in May 2020. A few months after the split, Cassie got a restraining order against Colton, accusing him of stalking and harassment. She also alleged that Colton put a tracking device on her car. She eventually dropped the restraining order after she and Colton reached a "private agreement," he said.
Cassie met Colton in late 2018 on season 23 of "The Bachelor." The pair didn't get engaged after he gave her the final rose on the ABC show, though they briefly lived together. She even cared for him while he recovered from COVID-19 early last year.
After their split, though, Colton "started to spiral," he confesses on his new show. "I lost my mind, and I did some things, I said some things that I'm not proud of."
For her part, Cassie continues to be frustrated with her ex's public life.
"Cassie really just wants to move past any drama having to do with Colton. She's being roped back into all this Colton mess because of the Netflix show," a source told Page Six. "There are a lot of bad memories associated with the end of their relationship and she wishes there was a way to completely separate herself from his narrative."
Colton is now dating political strategist Jordan C. Brown.