If Simon Cowell were judging this kiss with his onetime fiancée, Mezhgan Hussainy, he'd probably sneer, "Amateurish. I mean, really just terrible. Your pucker is off, the technique is sloppy and there's absolutely no emotion. You may as well be sucking up to a Hoover. Quite possibly, you're the worst kisser in the world. Just dreadful."