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Lip Shtick: Christina Aguilera, this is an intervention. We (your friends and loved ones) are concerned about your recent behavior. We all know you're incredibly talented. You've got a knockout set of pipes. Heck, Lady Gaga would gladly boil her lobster headpiece and serve it with butter if she could have your voice. But you need help. Your hoochie addiction is out of control, and it's negatively affecting everyone around you. Do you understand how upsetting it is to see you prancing around in nothing but red satin panties? You're better than this. And you know perfectly well that tights do not become pants despite a painful Bedazzling process. You're just in deep denial. Also, Billy Idol flew here all the way from the '80s to encourage you to give him back his studded, double-wrapped skinny belt and leather jacket. And Phyllis Diller respectfully asks for her deep-fried hair back. Just remember, the first step is admitting you have a problem. The second step is to take this power sander that we all chipped in to buy and scrub off that makeup.