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Cheap Purple: Thanks to Tori Spelling's embittered, mud-slinging mom, Candy, our attitude toward the former "Beverly Hills, 90210" virgin has morphed from indifference to sympathy to appreciation. And so it pains us to see Tori providing ammunition to her mother, who called her out earlier this year as a "middle-aged reality show" star, in their long-running war of words. In this instantly aging, ruffle-fringed, burgundy flop of a flapper dress, Spelling effectively locks and loads her mom's next round of zingers. We can almost hear Candy practicing her put-downs: "Tori, why is your frock so shapeless? Are you expecting another grandchild who I'll refuse to meet? Maybe if you ask nicely, I'll loan you the money to buy a waistline. Oh, do you know what that shade of purple reminds me of? All the pretty jewels I won't be leaving you in my will. Speaking of which, your necklace is a disgrace. Yellow pearls are for the little people, ones who don't have hired help to scrub them until they shine. I thought I raised you better than that. Guess I was wrong, but not nearly as wrong as your dress. I wouldn't be caught dead in that thing. You're picturing me dead right now, aren't you? Forget it -- I'm too rich to die."