Reality show stars are asking for a lot of things: among them, a cheap ride to stardom, a criticism of their character and appearance by the TV-viewing public and, often, a swift kick in the butt. Technically, however, no reality twosomes asked us for our thoughts on their relationships, but we thought we'd offer them anyway, because unsolicited advice can still be good advice. Read on to find out who from which show needs to do what.
Ronnie and Sammi
The sitch: The "Jersey Shore" couple is currently in "off again" mode, physically expressing only their negative emotions toward each other rather than a mix of good and bad. And as far as the current "Shore" season goes, these caramel-colored Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots have squeezed out plotlines from the better-loved rest of the cast.
Humble suggestion: For the love of God, break up. Make MTV move you into a house that has separate, dedicated "Ronnie" and "Sammi" entrances. When the show goes to Italy next season, find sexy Italian mates with whom you can express your love. Marry, attain Italian citizenship, and live out your lives letting the Mediterranean sun tan your hides.