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By Melissa Hunter

Kris Allen's upset victory on "American Idol" has a whole lot of Adam Lambert fans up in arms. However, there are a few people who aren't such big Lam-fans. The biggest hater being the one, the only, the irrelevant ... Clay Aiken.

Aiken went on an out-of-nowhere tirade on his blog about Adam Lambert (he does realize Adam lost, right?) that lasted around 3,000 words. Hmm, I'm starting to get the reasoning behind Twitter's 140 character limit.

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First, Aiken discusses his initial reaction to Lambert: "This year, I happened to turn it during the minute that Adam Lambert was singing "Ring of Fire" and, at that moment, thought my ears would bleed. Contrived, awful, and slightly frightening! ... Granted, I never saw another performance (and many folks who I trust said that he was great) but I can't imagine I would have enjoyed it."

Oh, snap! Looks like Aiken has been guzzling the hater-ade. Or maybe sipping some old sore-loser-ade. Like a fine wine, sore-loser-ade gets richer and more complex with time.

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He then, of course, recounts his own time on the "Idol" stage: "When Ruben and I were standing next to each other every night (many years ago) you had two equally talented, equally unlikely, equally unpolished contestants. So it really was a matter of taste as to who was voted for."

You see, back in the old days (i.e., Clay Aiken's days), "American Idol" had integrity. These were the days of truly talented contestants, when no one had sold out, and everyone was a winner. At least, this is what Aiken tells himself every night when he plays his final "Idol" moments on repeat as he falls asleep (his version of a rain machine).

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He continues with his "'American Idol' has sold out" rant: "Will 'American Idol' choose to listen to the resounding and clarion call that those voters gave them? Enough with the pretention. More Rubens, more Clays, more Fantasias and Tamyras and Kellys please."

Clay, you're probably right that "American Idol" has gotten more and more commercial over the years ... but when you're talking about a ratings juggernaut reality TV show on FOX, that is sponsored by Coca Cola and solely responsible for millions and millions of dollars in revenue, "selling out" seems like a pretty silly criticism to make.

Stay tuned for Aiken's "Authentic Indie Idol" airing on PBS in July of 2000-never.

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Clay Aiken Photos

Kris Allen Photos

Adam Lambert Photos