Hollywood Wants To Destroy Your Christmas Sweater

'Tis the season for good tidings, good cheer, and tasteless holiday sweaters. But where are all those woolen abominations? Is this the year we leave the tacky and tasteless in the basement? Hollywood seems to think so.

We know you're married to an older lady, Ashton, but that doesn't mean you have to be afraid of representin' with a few reindeer on that grown-up and dignified v-neck of yours.

Cable Knit, the only sweater style that can contain Tom Cruise's massive pecs. But where's the holiday spirit? Do Scientologists not believe in Santa?

For a guy with a name like Musiq Soulchild, we'd think you would be willing to spice up this sweater with a few Big Daddy Kandy Kanes or something.

Funny thing, this actually IS Angelina's festive holiday sweater. For her it's quite colorful.

If we can't even count on the elderly to keep the Christmas Sweater Spirit alive, then all hope truly is lost, and the holidays will now be celebrated by dressing our children in oversized flannel, fedoras, and spandex leggings that have knee-pads.