By Katherine Tinsley
9:00am PDT, Jun 17, 2025
_
"This weekend was Father's Day, and Daddy got just what he wanted: No one came to Trump's big, stupid birthday parade,"
Stephen Colbert said, in reference to Donald Trump's military birthday parade.
_
The parade took place on Donald Trump's birthday, Saturday, June 14 — the same day the "No Kings" protests against the president's administration occurred.
"No one came though, of course, the White House claims that 250,000 people attended. So now apparently, a quarter of a million people looks like this," Colbert said while showing video footage of Trump's parade.
"They must be really good at hide and seek. MAGA stands for Make America grass again," Colbert added.
_
While Donald Trump's team boasted about the turnout, photos told a different story.
"It was so sparsely attended that these poor troops were forced to march past empty bleachers. You guys, I don't think our parents came to our show. It's not fair to the soldiers,"
Stephen Colbert stated.
"They've got to be there. Wasn't just the low turnout. It also lacked a certain showmanship, which is surprising, because we heard it had tanks and stuff, but in reality, this is what you got," the comedian continued.
_
"We may have won WW2," Colbert declared, in reference to World War II, "but this weekend, we lost the battle of WD 40 for that tank."
"I know this is exactly the birthday I wanted, a hot, wet, empty lawn with a band playing my favorite tune," Colbert said while doing an impression of Donald Trump.
During the event, the president declared: "The Army keeps us free, you make us strong, and tonight you've made all Americans very proud. Every other country celebrates their victories. It's about time America did too. That's what we're doing tonight."
