By Paige Ferrari
Even in pop culture's darkest hour, Joe Simpson can see an opportunity. That's why he's reportedly pitching a "concept" album, featuring daughter Ashlee Simpson covering Michael Jackson's greatest hits.
Maybe it should be called "Don't Stop 'Til You've Totally Tarnished a Musical Legacy." (Page Six)
Mel Gibson is returning to the big screen in a movie called "The Beaver." It's a film about "a depressed man who finds solace in wearing a beaver hand-puppet." Obviously, a tale as old as time itself. (US)
Heidi Montag wants to give something back to the world. That's why she's teaming up with her personal trainer to create a fitness video, just for you!
Heidi's rocking bod is in reach, ladies — provided you eat right, work out 90 minutes daily, and have the numbers of various plastic surgeons on speed dial. (Celebuzz)
Is Jerry Seinfeld feeling the recession? Why else would the actor be cutting commercials for an Australian bank? They didn't even fly the poor guy to Australia. (Page Six)
Rihanna reportedly became upset and almost walked out of a club after Jamie Foxx got onstage and started teasing her. Listen, Jamie, you're never going to get tight with Rihanna — or Miley Cyrus for that matter — by pulling her pigtails. (Page Six)
George Clooney has promised the residents of an earthquake-ravaged Italian city, "We'll shoot a film here at the end of September, in which I will act." Such largesse! So much better than having one's house rebuilt, right? (E! Online)
Samantha Ronson reportedly wants to move after she overheard a guide on one of those Hollywood house tours dissing her. We don't know what the dig was, but probably something like: "Samantha Ronson's so poor, sometimes she runs inside instead of paying the locksmith." Ba-doom ching. (I'm Not Obsessed)
Rachel Weisz thinks botox should be banned for actors.
Sounds good in theory, but why else would anyone see, say, a Nicole Kidman film if not to observe deep inner emotions struggling to escape the lineless, motionless, plane of a botulism-filled forehead? (US)
Comedy Central has announced it will start airing episodes of "30 Rock" in 2011.
Will you tune in for Tracy, Liz, Kenneth, or that super hot blond intern who isn't really very funny but is terribly nice to look at? Cast your vote at the People's Choice Awards Web site. (PCA)